Breakups can be devastating, but the most challenging part is when your ex is with someone else but still contacts you. I mean, how should one react? How could they justify such a move? To that question, they can give many different answers.
If you have ever been in a breakup, you know the pain of seeing your ex with someone else.
If Your ex-partner appears to be happy in their new relationship and still tries to stay in touch with you, you must be confused; what could be the reason behind it?
The purpose of this article is to discuss the reasons why your ex contacts you when they’re already seeing someone else, and what should you do about it?
Summary
- Breakups can be devastating, especially when your ex is with someone else but still contacts you.
- The reasons for your ex contacting you can vary, from seeking sympathy to missing you or not being happy with their new partner.
- They might want forgiveness or even want to brag about their new relationship.
- Some exes may just want sex or simply want to be friends, while others may be seeking attention or suffering from the grass is greener syndrome.
- It’s important to set boundaries, avoid being clingy, focus on your own life and goals, and give them space. Getting back together is possible, but it depends on the circumstances and mutual willingness to resolve issues.
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Table of Contents
My Ex Is with Someone Else but Still Contacts Me. Why?
Both you and your partner broke up, but you still communicate. Despite breaking up with you, your ex wants to stay in touch with you. We can understand the weird feeling you experience when your ex contacts you after a breakup.
When your ex contacts you, you may question why they are contacting you, what they want from you, and why they do not leave you alone. The fact that they are in a new relationship bothered you even more.
If they are happy, why don’t they let you live a peaceful life? Contacting you, again and again, takes you back to the beginning, and you cannot move forward.
It is not always a desire to have you back in there that drives your ex towards you. There can be other reasons for your ex to contact you. We have also listed some other factors that may have caused your ex to contact you.
1. They Are Sympathy Seekers
The reason your ex is contacting you is that they are experiencing some hard times in their lives. They need someone to listen to them to make them feel stronger again.
Their new partner broke up with them; that is why they are not feeling well and want you to cry with them in the process. The only time they come to you is when they have a problem, and they do not have anyone to listen to them.
Currently, they are living through a difficult time, and they believe you can sympathize with them. That’s why your ex contacts you, so that they may cry on your shoulder and get some sympathy.
2. They Still Miss You.
It is possible that they still miss you, they want to talk to you, and you keep coming to their minds. They probably miss you but are reluctant to tell you directly, as they do not know what you are thinking about them. Thus, they try to keep in touch with you with various excuses.
Some of the signs that they miss you can be; they text you out of the blue and try to keep in touch. Are you doing OK? They want to know how you are doing. They keep commenting on your posts on Social Media.
Perhaps they may also miss you because they miss the love you used to give them, as they are not satisfied with their new partner.
3. They Are Not Happy with Their New Partner
You broke up with your ex; shortly after, they started dating someone else, or maybe they dumped you for someone else. After a while, they feel they are not as happy in their new relationship as they used to be with you, so it means they want to get back to you.
It is possible that your ex’s new partner is not compatible with your ex or that your ex is no longer happy with them. They want the same charm they had with you; they miss your company and feel lonely even when they are in a relationship. Probably they are not as satisfied with their new partner as they were with you.
4. They Want Forgiveness
Your ex dumped you or cheated on you, and things ended up badly. Now your ex contacts you or makes an effort to connect with you, then you should be concerned.
One of the reasons to contact you may be to ask for forgiveness. They want you to forgive them. Forgiveness is not always for coming back to you again, but about letting go of their guilt for hurting you, to cause you so much suffering.
Since they want to move forward in their lives without bringing heavy baggage from their pasts, they try to make up for their mistakes. You should always consider what is best for you, even if they want you back. If they have cheated on you, you should not give them a second chance.
5. They Want to Brag About Their New Relationship
If your ex is contacting you and telling you about their new relationship, it is because they may want to brag about their new partner to you. This is because you dumped them. Someone you left says they deserve good things, and now they have them in their lives. They want to show you that they have someone who loves them.
In some cases, your ex is trying to make you jealous. Their false claim that they are happy without your presence creates a false impression of their happiness in front of you.
6. They Are Horny, and They Just Want Sex
There may be a reason to come to you again that they do not feel as satisfied with their new partner as they did with you, both emotionally and physically. There is a possibility that your ex’s new partner will not be able to satisfy their sexual desires as you can.
Take a step back when you feel or realize that they are approaching you again because of their sexual needs. As if they can decide to cheat on their new partner, they can do it to you as well.
7. They Want to Be Friends
Although you and your partner are separate, your partner still wants to be friends with you; that’s why they talk to you as they used to. They tell you about their day, discuss and share their problems with you. In simpler words, they want you to listen to them.
Strangely enough, your ex still seems comfortable when conversing with you. Perhaps they want your opinion over something and talk about their new partner if they are in a new relationship.
To be friends with those you love is extremely difficult when sharing their feelings of love for another with you.
Is It OK to Be Friends with Your Ex?
Even though being friends with your ex is difficult, since you cannot just be strangers or just ignore those who you have loved or with whom you have a deep relationship, it is still possible to be friends with your ex.
The majority of people do not want to be friends with their ex. Some of you do not agree with me here as you are friends with your ex, but you are unique, my friend. People usually find it hard when someone they have been in love with for years suddenly you have to be friends with them.
Following a breakup, you cannot be friends with your ex right away, but you can implement a no-contact rule after a while of being distraught with each other. Then you can decide if you want to be friends.
What About Friends with Benefits?
“Friends with benefits” refers to a relationship in which two people are involved, but their relationship is only sexual. They are neither seriously involved in each other nor do they commit to each other.
Relationships of this type usually last between 2-4 months. If they last longer than a year, it is rare. Additionally, this type of relationship is an on-and-off relationship. Depending on the situation, it may be beneficial for some, but in general, it is not a sound idea.
8. Their New Partner Is Not Giving Them Attention
Either your ex is not getting the attention they need or having some internal conflict about leaving you, which is why they want your attention.
In any case, if their new partner is not giving them enough attention, they used to get from you, or if they are not getting the attention they need, that is why they are coming to you again.
Small things are important to them. They are one of those who love to be noticed over small things. Whatever it is, it depends on their personality. If their nature is to get attention over small things, they must not be getting it, which is why they are approaching you,
9. The Grass Is Greener Syndrome
The grass is greener syndrome refers to the tendency to focus on that which is out of reach. To have anxiety over situations that are not even there. Rather than live in the present, which is excellent, live in those scenarios, which are not possible. Consequently, it causes jealousy, comparison, and depression as if we want what the other person has,
Usually, it occurs when someone starts dating someone who does not meet their expectations and whose standards they are not up to. It also can happen when someone exceeds those standards we have set.
What Should I Do If My Ex Is Seeing Some but Still Contacts Me?
1. They Want You Back
Your ex may be feeling guilty about ending the relationship. Now that you both have broken up, they feel lonely and they have realized your importance. After realization, they may want you back again.
Some of the signs that they want you back include making an effort to stay in touch with you. In addition, they will ask you to meet them, and they will talk about the problems in your relationship.
2. They Want Something from You
Your ex may also want something from you, such as emotional support for when they are sad, someone to talk to when they are bored, share happiness with, or speak to someone they can trust.
With this, you can do something about your ex contacting you while they have someone else.
3. Do Not Be Clingy
Being clingy is when someone is too dependent on their partner and does not allow them enough space. Here are some steps you can take to stop being clingy.
4. Avoid Contacting
Put down your cell phone if you are being clingy and do not contact your ex. Clingy behavior includes constantly texting or calling them or asking where they are. You should give your partner some time. Avoid them by distracting yourself
5. Your Career Should Be Your Priority
To do well in your studies or career, you need to focus on that. Consider what you want to become and what your goals are. Whenever we enter into a relationship, we sometimes forget about our careers, future, and ourselves. It’s time to focus on your ambitions because you do not want to depend on your partner constantly.
6. Give Them Some Space
Although we agree that we don’t like it when our partner does things with us, whether it is dinner or a trip, or anything else, we always want to be with them, but you have to stop doing that and give them their space. When you let them do things independently, they will know that you are valuable to them and will not feel frustrated in the relationship.
Do Exes Come Back After Seeing Someone Else?
We know seeing your ex with someone else can be so heartbreaking. It hurts you to the bottom of your heart. It hurts even more if you were planning to get them back. People wonder if they can get their ex back.
Yes, it is possible to get your ex back even if they are with someone else. However, you must be in a positive state of mind, as negative thoughts never lead to a favorable outcome. Be gentle with yourself.
You can get your ex back, but you have to make sure you do nothing wrong, or else they will drift even further away.
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Do Not Show Them Your Emotions
If your ex-lover is seeing someone else, do not try to make them reconsider you using tactics such as texting, calling, or any other means, as it may backfire, and either they will block you or misbehave.
If you are going through something or suffering something, do not show your ex how you feel; stay confident. It is essential to remain distracted from your ex even if you come face to face with them. In addition, it’s better not to show your feelings as it’ll give the impression they have affected you.
No Contact Rule
The no contact rule prohibits texting, calling, and constantly approaching your ex. Make sure you implement a no contact rule to have the space to decide what they want from your relationship and how they want it to work. For those who wish to get their ex back, this is extremely helpful.
It gives them a chance to think about you while you are apart. A right and reasonable approach to the situation will encourage your ex to come back.
Is It a Good Idea to Be Back with an Ex After Dating Someone Else?
It entirely depends on the reasons and circumstances that caused you to separate. Before you turn back to your ex, you should find out whether your feelings for one another are permanent or temporary.
You can figure it out by asking yourself some questions.
Are You Sure About Getting Back with an Ex?
Do you want to be with your ex-partner again? Are you sure about that? Identify the reasons why you both broke up. A breakup is likely the result of some issues or circumstances. Are you looking forward to getting back together with your ex or just heartbroken? Why are you returning to your ex because you have no one else? Have you realized that the breakup was a mistake?
Are You Both Willing to Resolve Your Differences?
Are you and your ex figure out the cause of your breakup and are willing to work with each other to resolve it? Would you honestly like to get back together and solve issues?
If circumstances forced you to break up and are now willing to solve them, then go ahead and solve them. It is OK to be back with your ex if you love them.
Conclusion
It is expected of you that you will be fine after your separation and show no signs of suffering. Your ex contacts you while they are dating someone else after you break up. You may wonder why your ex is contacting you. There can be many reasons why your ex would make an effort to contact you.
It may be that your ex wants to be friends with you, or perhaps they want to settle down in their lives without feeling any guilt for hurting you. They may also want to fulfill their sexual desires through you.
If your ex is in a relationship with someone else but still contacts you, you should not beg them in that case, and instead, give them some space. If you wonder if her ex will come back after a breakup, the answer is yes!
If you have approached the situation appropriately, you can solve the problems and get your ex back. Returning to your ex after a while is fine if there is no cheating or abuse involved.