Why Do Exes Contact You Out Of The Blue? 13 Reasons!

Being texted by a former partner is no big deal for some people but shocking for some. As you are here, you must be interested in why exes contact you out of the blue? 

It may seem strange to some people when an ex contacts you out of the blue. This article will help you understand the situations and reasons behind the sudden effort to reach. It will also tell you how you should handle situations like these and, most importantly, how to respond. 

This article is mainly about the exes who contact you after years. After reading it, you will understand your present situation and why they tried to reach you. This article is not about getting them back; instead, it is about understanding why exes contact you suddenly out of the blue. 

Why Do Exes Contact You Out of the Blue? 

Most exes contact you out of curiosity or for the sake of checking up on you. You might get text messages or calls from your ex for your attention, or perhaps your ex wants to get back. 

It is not good when an ex contacts you out of the blue, especially if you are still not over it. You must not rush to respond to the texts or calls if you both are still not over your past problem. 

Rushing will make you feel even more oppressed, depressed, and anxious, and this may cause a breakup again. There must be a reason when exes contact you out of the blue. It would be best if you analyze the reasons, situations properly before making a move. 

There may be many reasons when an ex contacts you years later or out of the blue. Several reasons exes may contact you are below. 

1. They are Feeling Lonely

Another reason why your ex contacts you suddenly after so long might be because they are struggling with their feelings alone. Since they have no one to go to, they contact you. As you both spent so much time together, your ex wanted you to comfort them.

As they were lonely and didn’t know who else to talk to, they attempted to pass the time by contacting you. Exes do  contact because they believe speaking to you would not be detrimental. Talking to you would be a better option to kill time. 

2. They Contacted You to Make You Jealous  

Your ex could be trying to make you jealous to make you realize that you still love them and want to be with them. Or maybe your ex is trying to figure out whether there is any chance that you would come back. On the other hand, perhaps they miss you, regret breaking up with you, and are looking forward to seeing you again. 

You must think and analyze the situation before doing anything. 

Most often, we do things to make everyone think we’re happy when we genuinely are not. If you notice your ex trying to show off on social media and try to contact you, there must be something fishy. Your ex must want you to come back to them. Their social media show they are happy and better off without you, but the reality is the opposite. 

Too much jealousy in a relationship can be harmful, so you must maintain a balance even if you love them. If your ex wants you back, your ex must make an effort to be the best version of themselves. 

Jealousy can create insecurities and trust issues in a relationship. You cannot see them with someone else; it shouldn’t be the only reason to reconcile. 

3. They are Sentimental 

Some people are overly sentimental or emotional. They keep their emotions on their nose. Maybe your ex contacted you after years because they got emotional over something and missed you. 

When exs contact you out of the blue, doesn’t mean they’ve changed; instead, it’s because they miss you sometimes. Maybe your ex went to a place where you both used to go. Or maybe they remembered any pleasant memory that caused them to contact you to see if you are ok. 

4. They Genuinely Miss You 

Your ex must have started missing you during the no-contact period because they had a habit of talking to you. Now that your ex is in no contact phase, your ex must miss those chats and long duration calls with you. 

They must miss your presence in their life, even if it is a small chat like Good Morning or something like that. So contacting you must be a good reason to make you realize their absence in your life if you have not moved on. 

It will only happen if they haven’t moved on or have no one else in their life. The breakup must have made them realize your importance in their life. Your ex may start to miss you due to your absence. 

5. They Got Dumped  

When you get a text or call from your ex, it leaves you wondering why they would contact you after so long. Your ex may have texted you because they’re going through a breakup again with their new partner. They must be going through many emotions this phase. 

People tend to reach out to their exes after dating someone else when their new relationship also doesn’t go well. Maybe your ex got dumped, and their new partner wasn’t as understanding and compromising as you were. 

6. They can’t Move On 

If you are the one to call off the relationship, and you want to move on but your ex contacts you out of nowhere, you must know what to do. The first thing is, you need to find out the reason. Maybe your ex couldn’t move on and still loves you. 

Both of you are in the healing process after a breakup, but you are doing fine as you initiated the breakup. However, your ex may not be doing so well. Your ex may still miss you and want to get back together. 

Generally, boys tend to understand such trivial things a bit late. However, when they do, they stick to it, and it is almost impossible for them to get over it. 

7. They Have Realized Your Worth

Your ex cheated on you, broke up with you, and moved on with their new relationship. Then, after some time, you get a text and get curious why ex texted me out of nowhere?

You both had a good time when you were together. Your love for them was intense, and you gave all of your love and care to them. Your ex was caring too but somehow got into some other person. You got severely hurt when your ex broke up and left you all alone.

I know a boy who didn’t appreciate the love and care his ex gave to him when they were in a relationship. Later, when that girl moved on with someone else, he contacted her. That person confronted his ex and confessed I miss you, and I was wrong, and can you please come back? 

People tend to know the worth of their partner after they are gone. It is the worst reality of this world, but no one can do anything about it.

8. They Want to Be Friends

To wonder why your ex contacted you out of the blue is not rare instead, it is very typical. You may feel that they must want to be back again. But not always; maybe your ex wants to remain friends with you.

It could be because they miss you as a friend with whom they used to share their feelings or even a daily routine. I think it’s entirely possible that they still want to be friends with you. They may want to stay in touch with you as a friend.

If you love someone, you’re not going to become friends with them naturally. However, you may think that becoming friends with your ex is less embarrassing. It isn’t embarrassing to run into a friend like it is to run into an ex.

Perhaps your ex wants to get in touch again to see if they have any chances of getting back together. If yes, your ex may become your friend first and then get into a relationship with your again. 

9. They are Miserable Without You

If your ex broke up with you, there are possibilities they would regret it someday. If you get a text from your ex, they are sad and unhappy without you; know that the day has come.

Usually, people change a lot when they are in love. Some people get better as a person, while some act like spoiled brats because of the love they get from their partner.

Your ex may be a person who became a better person because of your love and care. However, after the breakup, they returned to their bad habits, unwillingly or willingly. They may miss you because your care and love made them a better person.

Perhaps they are not mentally relaxed as they were when you were with them. Your ex may regret hurting and breaking up with you. 

10. They Want to Know How You Are Doing

Your ex must be curious about you; that’s why they have contacted you. In this way, they will know what you are up to lately. How are you doing lately, and what’s your relationship status?

It probably is a method of checking if you have moved on. If your ex wants you back, your ex will continue trying to contact you and sort things out. Your ex reaching out to you can also be temporary. They may stop it when they find someone else to date. 

11. Maybe They Are Guilty

Your ex texted you out of nowhere; you must want to know why your ex would text you after so long. The reason can be your ex is feeling guilty. Your ex is guilty because the relationship ended due to a lack of communication and understanding.  

It may also be because they want to be back with you. Or your ex may simply be trying to clarify their position to feel less guilty about what your ex did to you.

Perhaps they feel guilty about hurting you without any reason, so they might want you to move on and may tell you to deserve better.

However, if they want to be together again, you should ask yourself whether you want it to happen or not. 

12. They are Drunk

The most likely chance for someone to contact their ex is when they are under the influence of alcohol. But it’s not an acceptable reason for anyone to believe that their ex still loves them.

What if they contacted you in a drunken state but not when they are sober? You may be the first person that came to their mind while being drunk. However, it doesn’t mean they are still in love with you.

13. They Want to Sort Things Out

Your ex may want you back in their life if they contact you very often. However, I must say that you need to make sure you think about it properly before making a decision.

They need to prove themselves and become a better version of themselves. Then you can make your mind if you want your ex back in your life or not.

Do Exes Contact You of The Blue Because They Want You Back?

Whether your ex wants you or not depends on their situation. If your ex still loves you and hasn’t moved on yet, this could mean your ex genuinely wants you back. The purpose behind their reaching out to you is obvious. 

However, there are times when exes contact you suddenly out of boredom or curiosity. Your ex may not be sincere or has feelings for you in such situations. 

Whatever the scenarios are, be very careful and active. It will be best for you to stay alert and observe your ex’s every action before making any decision. 

How to Know If They Want Me Back?

You are confused about how to know whether they want you back or not? There is a sure way your ex behaves when they genuinely wish to you back in their life. So if you happen to experience these situations, you might be right to think your ex wants you back.

They may also try to clear the past issues by telling you directly or indirectly. When your ex wants you back, they will stay single until you get back to them. 

How Should One Respond When Exes Contact Them Out of the Blue?

Most importantly, you must understand first what you genuinely want to do. Do you want to get back together? Yes, or No? You must be sure of what you want and what you don’t.

Try to find out the reason for the sudden approach

You received a text from your ex out of nowhere. Do you understand and try to decipher the reason why they attempted to contact you? First, try to find out the causes, then make your mind about anything.

We have suggested some possible reasons for why your ex texted you out of the blue. It would be best if you read them carefully. Read these points carefully; we’re sure it will help you identify why your ex is contacting you out of the blue.

Do you genuinely want to reply?

It is the most critical part of the whole process of the no contact or breakup. Do you want a patch-up? It depends wholly on your decision. You are responsible for your choice and decision; no one can force you. 

If you want them back, you need to talk about things that caused the breakup, whether it was insecurities or trust issues, or any other problem. By discussing these points before getting into a relationship will save you both from unnecessary issues.

In my opinion, if you have broken up because of some circumstances, it makes sense that you might want to make things right again. 

Don’t be clingy if you want them back

We understand you have made up your mind to get back to your ex but try not to be clingy. If you genuinely want reconciliation, you should act wisely and not be too obvious about it.

It is good to keep your pride aside while chasing someone. It will help if you stay very polite yet consistent while going after your ex. However, being persistent and clingy are two different things.

Being understanding and polite will help you get back will your ex much faster. However. If you become clingy and a pushover, your ex wouldn’t come back to you.

Act Nicely If Your Ex Contact You

It is not a good idea to show off too much or act as if you don’t want it. It will do nothing but harm you at the end of the day. It is best if you behave nicely and politely with your ex. It will show your love and sincerity towards your ex.

Conclusion

Anybody can experience a breakup in their lifetime. It isn’t something everyone has to go through, but many people go through this. A text message or call from a long-lost ex may startle you, and you wonder why exes contact you out of the blue.

However, if it ever happens to you, stay calm and try not to get super excited. Please don’t allow it to affect you so profoundly that you can’t get over it. Your ex may contact you to ask how are you doing lately?

When exes make contact out of the blue, there are some reasons behind it. Maybe your ex feels lonely or bored; they may be guilty and miserable with you. On the other hand, your ex may want you back because they miss you or still have feelings for you. However, it would be best if you comprehend their reasoning for approaching you before doing anything.