That’s a complicated situation in which you might consider reconciling with your ex while remaining friends. If you are going through or have recently gone through a breakup, you might have wondered if being friends with your ex would help you get them back. You will also consider when and if you should consider being friends with your ex. There are a lot of reasons why you should or should not keep in touch with your ex.
In this article, you’ll learn when it’s appropriate to contact your ex after a breakup, if it’s worthwhile to continue to be friends, and whether remaining friends with your ex can help you rekindle your relationship.
It would be best if you devote some of your valuable time to read this article. It will certainly assist you if you are unsure how to recover your ex as a friend.
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Summary
- Reconciling with an ex and remaining friends can be a complicated situation with potential benefits and drawbacks.
- Couples can consider staying friends if they can set and respect boundaries, especially if they have children together or were friends before dating.
- Being friends with an ex can help in rekindling the relationship by maintaining communication and reminding them of happy times.
- However, there are disadvantages to being friends with an ex, such as them not missing you or getting over the breakup easily.
- Establishing boundaries is crucial when being friends with an ex, including maintaining privacy, setting timelines, and having conversations beyond the past relationship.
Table of Contents
When You Should Be Friends With Your Ex?
The author of the book named The Breakup Bible, Rachel Sussman, is a known psychotherapist too. According to Rachel Sussman, couples should sever ties after a breakup. However, in some cases, severing ties is not an option for the broken couple.
Such broken couples can stay friends too if they are determined enough to stay within their limits. Every couple who decides to remain good friends after a breakup should be well aware of their limitations. Under any circumstances, the boundaries should not be crossed.
People who have kids together can stay friends even after breaking up for their children’s sake. Couples who were friends before and dated for a short time can remain good friends after a breakup. In such cases, contact and friendship with the partner shouldn’t be severed.
Does Being Friends with An Ex Help Get Them Back?
In a relationship, time does not matter, but love does. Yeah, indeed! Attachment is to blame for the amount of discomfort you feel after a breakup. So, after you’ve gotten through the emotional phase, you or your ex may consider reconnecting with you as a friend. As a result, being friends with your ex is an excellent way to get them back in your life.
You’ll need to communicate with them again if you want them back in your life, neither too much nor too little. Maintaining communication increases the likelihood that they may feel compelled to react. You don’t have to distance yourself right away after a breakup. Keeping in touch will also help you find out whether you’ll need them in the future or not.
Although the period immediately after a breakup is difficult, you will savor it by talking to your ex about it. You’ve been given extra time during which you can remind your ex of all the happy times you’ve shared. Being friends with a splash of romance could help you recover your ex.
1. Medium of Communication to Get Your Ex Back
Although you might be confident in your ability to be friends with your ex, contact is essential! Yes, keep in touch with them. It helps you move on and provides you with peace of mind when dealing with the end of a relationship. It will help if you speak to your ex about how your life is changing and how you’re feeling emotionally, which will help you communicate while helping each other. It will finally make you understand your mutual dependency.
2. Sometimes Distance is Not Necessary
While going through a breakup, you may have considered or at the very least severed all ties with your ex. It can be advantageous in some situations, but it is not always the case. It’s not a clever idea to absolutely cut ties with your ex.
Maintaining distance isn’t always beneficial, mainly if your relationship hasn’t worked out due to external factors. You two should also interact and appreciate each other’s circumstances while maintaining a healthy relationship.
3. A Chance to Remind Them About The Good Days Before Breakup
Thus keeping in touch after a breakup will help you relieve tension. You and your ex should chat about the good times you’ve had together. You can remember the happy, carefree days when you and your ex were each other’s rock.
4. Friendship Mix with Romance May Help You Getting Them Back
It’s sometimes worth the effort to be friends with your ex because you or he is still in love with you. You have a greater chance of regaining their presence in your life. Aside from that, a romantic friendship is a unique form of support.
Even if you are no longer together, you are comfortable enough to share anything with your ex. You and your partner could talk freely about how you feel and what flaws you will need to avoid in the future if you get back together or find another partner.
What You Should Not do While Being Friends with an Ex?
Now that you know the advantages of being friends with your ex, there are some things you can bear in mind.
- Define the limits that you and your ex must stick to while remaining friends.
- Don’t bring up the reasons for the breakup too much.
- Don’t blame each other for the split.
- Don’t put pressure on each other to get back together.
- Don’t bring up past disagreements
- Don’t question each other’s intentions; let time settle
Disadvantages of Being Friends With an Ex
Being friends with an ex can help you win them back, but there are certain cons too. When you are deeply involved and bound by passion, the prospect of losing someone is heartbreaking. It is devastating to one’s mental peace to accept staying friends simply because you cannot see them leave. You may have treated the breakup maturely and wanted to stay friends with your ex.
However, there are times when remaining a friend is not the best option. If you’re still undecided on whether or not being a friend would benefit you, consider the drawbacks as well and make your own decision.
1. They Will Not Miss you
Getting your ex as a friend has a significant downside in that they will no longer miss you. They won’t notice the significance of your absence if you’re still connected all the time and hanging out with them. It will gradually make them feel like you are just another part of their life with whom they can interact when they are bored.
2. They Will Get Over the Breakup Easily
Now that you’re still friends, there’s a chance your ex will be able to move on quickly from the breakup. They merely see you as a friend, which might make you even sadder as you watch them progressively lose interest in you.
3. They Will See You as a Friend In Future
You don’t want this to happen; however, it’s possible that keeping friends with your ex could diminish your value. They are now speaking to you or addressing you as though you were one of his or her other friends. You’ll see them catching up with old or new mates, and they seem to be content with their quick escape from you.
4. You will Feel Unimportant
You will begin to feel worthless when you see your ex dating or finding a new partner. You’ll notice that they’re no longer sharing those little moments with you because you’re no longer necessary in their lives. You’ll begin to feel envious or annoyed.
5. You’ll be Trapped in the Past
Your ex may get over you, but there’s a risk that you’ll end up stuck in the past. You may be hesitant to take a step forward for the sake of old times, but it will have a significant impact on you.
What to do When Your Ex Wants to be Friends?
You have most likely been through this after a breakup because you believe you have moved on. And, seemingly out of nowhere, your ex shows up and offers to be your friend. You’re now perplexed because, on the one side, you’ve prepared yourself to move on, but on the other hand, you’re becoming entangled in an emotional but supportive friendship.
This will make you doubt yourself, causing you to conclude that you are either emotionally fragile or that you can put in a lot of effort while remaining friends only with your ex. So, if you’ve been given friendship after a breakup, consider the following:
1. Tell them clearly that you are not a friend. If you’ve been friends with them for a long time, now you don’t -want to be friends with them anymore, tell them.
2. Value the friendship by being frank and having that respect in mind when you politely tell them whether or not you want to be friends in the future.
3. Establish the parameters of what can and cannot be discussed in the future, even though you have agreed to remain friends.
4. If you don’t want to stay there, by all means, don’t fall for the tricks they used to get you back into your life as a friend. Keep an eye out for their deceptions, and don’t fall for them.
Boundaries for Being Friends with an Ex
When you’re breaking up with someone and consider remaining friends with them, maintaining healthy boundaries with your ex is crucial to maintaining this relationship. These boundaries are necessary to help you get over your ex-partner and help you find the right partner in the future. While remaining friends with your ex, you should establish some essential boundaries.
1. Maintain Privacy
When you’ve agreed to remain friends, talk openly with your partner about how you’ll keep the personal information confidential. Be cautious about disclosing your relationship or breaking up with others.
2. Set Timeline
Keep track of the time you spend with your ex now. Bear that track in mind, whether you’re talking on the phone or seeing each other.
3. Have a Conversation other Than Your Relationship
Now that you’ve proclaimed yourself to be friends. By all means, try to stop mentioning relationships. Include other general subjects in your conversation to help you maintain your distance from them.
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Conclusion
Being friends with your ex will not necessarily help you get them back but most likely lead to you both realizing and reuniting. Staying friends isn’t a bad idea; all you have to do is consider each other’s situation and act appropriately.
This friendship after a split will be beneficial to both of you if you maintain healthy boundaries and spend the appropriate amount of time with each other. If you think you can handle this kind of friendship, you should take advantage of it; otherwise, you should break ties with them immediately.
Everyone deals with breakups in their own unique way. The first and most important thing you can do is speak with your partner, discuss the situation, and make sure you both understand each other before making a decision. The rest will be determined by the passage of time.