What is the biggest key you can use to unlock your past? It is your parents. How they treat you; what they said and did, what was done in the home when you grew up. This article will talk about how do you honor your mother and father when they are abusive?
Table of Contents
It is very difficult to honor abusive parents but they are still someone for whom you have a soft spot in your heart.
Summary
- Honoring abusive parents is difficult but acknowledging their role in shaping your past is important.
- Despite their abusive behavior, it is possible to find a way to honor and respect your parents.
- Maintain communication with your abusive parents, expressing your desire to honor them but also setting boundaries against their abusive behavior.
- Allocate some time for them, perform kind acts without complaint, and prioritize honoring them over other activities.
- Change your perspective, remember the good times, seek support, and pray for their well-being while prioritizing your own healing and growth.
Can Mother And Father Be Abusive?
At times some parents are abusive to their children. So it’s very questionable whether you should honor them?
Parents are not always worthy of respect; they can be abusive and make many mistakes. So even if a parent has abused you, the right way for you to honor them is to accept that they have been given authority by God. You can bless him or her with this authority, but never curse your parents no matter how abusive they are.
How Do You Honour Your Mother And Father When They Are Abusive?
In this article, we will discuss the various ways on how to honor and respect our parents no matter what their actions might be. Here, we will focus primarily on honoring our parents even if they are abusive.
The reason why it is so hard for people to forgive their parents is that they are often reminded of the abuse through other family members, who usually take the abuser’s side instead of theirs.
Furthermore, there are many ways to honor your abusive parents without actually giving them another chance or continuing a relationship with them. Here are some tips on how you can do that:
1. Don’t Refuse To Talk With Your Abusive Mother And Father
It is a mistake not to honor your mother and father when they are abusive; you should still talk with them if possible. You can tell them that you want to honor them, but you feel like you cannot do this while they continue to be abusive, and ask them to please discontinue their destructive behavior.
2. Do Not Completely Neglect Your Abusive Mother And Father
They deserve at least some of your time with them, even if it is only a couple of hours each week or month, or just now and then. You can also continue to do kind things for them without complaint, although this should be done always, not just when they are abusive.
3. Cancel Your Plans For Your Abusive Mother And Father
You must honor your parents, even if it means that you will not get to do things with other people who are more pleasant to be around than your mother and father.
4. Bless Your Abusive Parents Even If They Don’t Mend Their Ways
If your parents refuse to change their ways and stop abusing you, then at least continue blessing them while things remain this way. It might help them to stop their abuse, and you can at least continue to honor them in some small way.
5. Think Of What It Would You Feel Like If They Pass Away
If you were living with abusive parents who had become willing to change, then one day they suddenly passed away without any warning; how would you feel? How could you live knowing that they died thinking so negatively of you?
6. Don’t Forget The Good Things About Your Mother And Father
This is one way how to honor your abusive parents even if there is abuse. You can remember all the good things that they did for you before the abuse occurred, but these should be real memories!
It might also help if you find something within yourself that reminds you of them as well, like a talent or skill that they taught you.
7. Change How You Think About Your Abusive Mother and Father
You don’t have to be a victim forever; instead, take action! There’s no need to remain powerless; get back some control by changing how you think about others. Change your negative thinking about your abusive parents to positive thoughts.
If possible, start telling yourself how lucky you were to have parents like these around during your childhood; maybe they made what could’ve been an extremely rough situation for others much easier for you.
Maybe how difficult this situation ended up being was simply the result of something that your parents could not control.
8. Seek Supports From Other Family Members
If others in your family accept what has happened to you without blaming you for it, do not give up on them! They might be the only ones who love and support you after this event has occurred.
If they also take sides with your abuser or don’t want anything to do with you because of the abuse, then come up with other activities that aren’t connected to them at all.
9. You Do Not Need To Forget About Your Abusive Mother And Father
To be able to honor them as your mother and father, you do not need to forget some of the things they have done. It might help keep you from forgetting that they are always going to be a part of who you are, even if it’s just on a bad level right now.
If you’re ever ready for forgiveness, then seek out a support group or a counselor first!
10. Pray For Your Abusive Mother And Father
Prayer does not have to be all about positive things; it can also be used to ask for good things to happen to others!
Maybe even pray for God’s will in this situation, so that your abusive parents can see how their actions are hurting you and change their ways before they hurt themselves even more than just by insulting us.
11. Seek Out Leads On How To Stop Being Abused By Your Mother And Father
There are many books written on how to stop abuse, sometimes, there is no way out of the situation unless someone is willing to be a mature adult and confront them about their bad habits.
If you want to learn how to handle this kind of abuse, then pick up a book on parenting skills today. So that tomorrow’s Mother’s Day doesn’t become another day where we feel like we have no power or control over our own lives!
12. Remember All Of The Good Things In Your Life
This may seem impossible at first, but keep in mind that it will help your self-esteem and perspective of the world around you. Hopefully, this new perspective will also include your abusive parents changing for the better!
You can start by writing down all of the good memories and experiences that you’ve had with them – even if it’s very few.
13. Tell Someone How You Feel
It may be difficult for you to talk about your feelings if no one around you accepts that your parents are abusive.
Instead of forcing yourself into conversations that will end in an argument, speak with someone who can give you support and someone who won’t judge you by what has happened in the past!
14. Identify The Triggers Causing Emotional Breakdown
Once you’ve started to make changes in how you think about yourself and your abusive parents; start looking out for any “triggers.” Triggers are what cause you to remember negative memories that remind you of the abuse.
It’s hard to ignore our feelings when we get triggered, but do not give into anger! If anything it will cause more harm than good. Instead, take a deep breath and count back from 5! This technique always helps to calm down.
How To Celebrate Mothers Day Even Though She Is Abusive
Even though you have left the environment where your mother is abusive or you have come to a mutual agreement that it would be best if she didn’t spend time with you, every year it’s important that we celebrate mothers. So below are some ways you can still celebrate mothers day even though you have a lot of bad memories.
- Remember the good times you’ve had with your mother – sometimes even when she was abusive, there were still moments of laughter and happiness shared between the two of you.
- Send a quick text – Even though your mother might not be the type to reply, she will still see that you didn’t forget about her and that will hopefully make her feel a little flattered.
- Don’t punish yourself – If you feel guilty because you’re celebrating Mother’s Day without your mother then don’t punish yourself by thinking of her every time someone tells you happy Mother’s Day today! Remind yourself of the good times you had with her to ease off your mind.
- Do what feels right – I know it may be hard to do anything today but just think of the good things you have done for your mother throughout the year. Maybe this is a great opportunity for you to send her flowers or maybe that’s something that she would never appreciate.
- Share your feelings with her – This is the perfect chance to tell her how you feel, have you ever felt angry with your mother but never told her? Or maybe even thought about writing her a letter where you could express how you feel, now would be the time to do so.
Conclusion
A child can learn to love his or her parents despite any negative actions that they may show. It is the intention of this article that you will be able and feel ready to adopt and adapt these tips and advice as to your own on how to honor our parents even if there is abuse.
For a parent, no matter what happens, their kids can still love them unconditionally. Parents are people too, they make mistakes. Sometimes abusive parents are just doing their best they can to cope with the damage that was done to them in their childhood.
Parents do make some mistakes but children still love them unconditionally, they are their parents after all. If possible many wish there wasn’t so much pain in this relationship but it is possible to get better with time.
