If you have recently had a breakup and have ever caught yourself rambling something along the lines of “I think my ex ruined my life, I can’t do anything now!”, it is about time you take your emotional health seriously.
While some people get over their exes after some time, others might hang in there a little too long, only harming themselves in return.
If you ex is in no way contacting you, you feeling like they ruined your life is not a good thing. Here is a guide on how to deal with such a feeling:
Summary
- Breakups can lead to feelings of your life being ruined, but it’s crucial to prioritize your emotional health.
- Signs that your ex might have “ruined” your life include feeling emotionally damaged, unable to move on, and unable to love again.
- To move on, spend time with supportive people, focus on your own happiness, and consider seeking professional help.
- After a breakup, engage in new hobbies, avoid bottling up your feelings, and don’t blame yourself for the relationship ending.
- Be aware of red flags in potential partners, such as authoritarianism, intolerance, jealousy, aggression, narcissism, envy, and unreliability.
Table of Contents
Has My Ex Ruined My Life? 5 Things To Look Out For
Before you work out to get your life back on track, it is very important to understand what exactly you feel like has been ruined for you by you ex. Here are some things you can feel once you have a break up that can lead you to feel like your life has been ruined forever.
1. You Are Emotionally Damaged And Can’t Live A Normal Life
Your ex has done a great job at making you feel like you can’t do anything right. You are emotionally damaged and feel like you will never be able to have a normal life. This is the first thing your ex wants you to believe so that you will be too scared to try and get on with your life.
2. You Will Never Move On From What They Did To You
They want you to think that you will never be able to move on from what they did to you. This is because they know that if they can keep you feeling this way, then you will never be happy again. The thought of being without them will consume your every thought and is exactly what they want.
3. You Feel Like Will Never Be Able To Love Again
Your ex wants you to think that after what they did to you, you will never be able to love anybody else again. They want you to stay hung up on them and believe that if anyone else were to come into your life, it would only end in heartbreak like it had with them.
4. You Feel Friendless And Have No Connection Left In Life
Your ex wants you to think that there is nobody who can make you happy in this world. They want you to feel like you no longer have any friends, and like your life has no connection with anyone else anymore.
This way, they know that when they come back into your life (which they will), it would be easy for them to pick up where they left off.
5. You Have No Will And Purpose Left In Your Life
Your ex wants you to lose sight of everything good that might happen in the future. They want you to think that because of what happened between the two of you, your life just isn’t worth living anymore.
My Ex Ruined My Life: Here Are Things You Can Do
It is important to remember that your ex does not have the power to ruin your life unless you let them. The best thing you can do is to focus on yourself and your own happiness. Here are some tips on how to move on after a breakup:
1. Spend Time With Those Who Make You Happy
Spend time with friends and family. They will be there to support you and help you get through this tough time. These people can act as your support system and you can lean on them for strength to get through the next few days.
2. Remember The Past Is In The Past
When thinking about the past, remember that it is behind you and has no power over your future. You did not pursue a relationship with your ex, so dwelling on what happened will not do anything but make the present more difficult to deal with.
If you cannot stop thinking about your ex then it may be time to seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor.
3. Take Time For Yourself And Focus On Your Own Happiness
After a breakup life does not come to a complete stop; there are still things you need to attend to such as work and other daily activities like taking care of yourself and maintaining your own happiness.
This means that you should still take time for yourself and do things you enjoy even if it is just for a little while each day.
4. Get Back Out There
It can be difficult to think about dating again after a breakup, but it is important to remember that there are other people in the world who may make you happy.
Do not rush into anything, but if you feel ready then go ahead and start dating again. You may find that you are open to new experiences, and this could lead to a new and better relationship.
5. Seek Professional Help If You Cannot Deal With The Emotional Stress
If you are feeling overwhelmed by the emotions of a breakup, then it may be time to seek professional help. There are therapists who can help you work through your emotions and heal from the breakup so that you do not stay in a rut for too long.
6. Find New Hobbies
Breaking up can leave you feeling lost and without a sense of purpose. A great way to find this new purpose in life is to get into new hobbies.
This can be anything from painting to hiking; the important thing is that it makes you happy. When you have something to focus on outside of your relationship, you will find the healing process goes much smoother.
7. Don’t Bottle Up Your Feelings
It is important to talk about how you are feeling after a breakup, even if it is just with a friend or family member. Bottling up your feelings will only make them worse in the long run. Talking about them will help them to become more manageable and less overwhelming.
8. Don’t Blame Yourself
It is easy to blame yourself for a breakup, but it is important to remember that it takes two people to make a relationship work. You are not responsible for the breakup and should not beat yourself up over it.
8. Stay Positive
When going through a tough time like a breakup, it is important to stay positive. This may be difficult at times, but by focusing on the good things in your life you will find that the bad will start to fade away.
9. Don’t Isolate Yourself
It can be tempting to isolate yourself after a breakup, but this is not healthy. When you are around other people, you will find that it is easier to forget about your ex and focus on the present.
10. Don’t Jump Into A New Relationship Too Soon
After a breakup it can be easy to rush into a new relationship, but this is not the best idea. It is important to take your time and not put too much pressure on yourself when finding someone new.
Remember that sometimes love takes time and rushing things will only lead to another heartbreak in the future.
How To Know If A Partner Can Ruin Your Life?
Once you get over the past trauma and turn back to life, there is a high chance that you would try finding a new partner but are afraid they would turn out to be the same if you both ever part ways in future.
Well, it is important to keep an eye on the red flags that define a toxic partner. These pointers and red flags can really give you some hints on whether or not your partner has the potential to ruin your life later on.
Here are some of the red flags in a partner you always need to look out for:
1. Authoritarianism
It is really important to find a partner who encourages freedom and independence in you. A person who has been brought up in an authoritarian environment where the child was not allowed to have its own opinion or speak freely, tend to seek out partners that exhibit similar controlling behavior for themselves along with expecting their partner to behave in the same way too.
2. Intolerance
Intolerance is another big red flag in a partner who can ruin your life later on though it might seem like a small thing at first but when they start using it as a tool of manipulation, you would realize how terrible it can be especially when they use this tactic over trivial things such as religion, politics, education, etc.
3. Jealousy And Possessiveness
A partner who is excessively jealous and possessive can be really damaging to your relationship in the long-term. This type of partner would always be questioning you about your whereabouts, who you are talking to, what you are doing, etc. and would never trust you fully. They might even start stalking you which could lead to dangerous consequences.
4. Aggression And Violence
If your partner has a history of being violent or aggressive, it is best to stay away from them before things get worse. This type of behavior is not only physically harmful but also emotionally and mentally abusive. It can leave deep scars that might never heal completely.
5. Narcissism
A partner who is self-centered and believes that he/she deserves nothing but the best in life will never be content in a relationship, no matter how much you try. They would always need more and more to satisfy them which can increase the level of stress for you if this behavior becomes an everyday thing.
6. Envy And Competition
It might not seem like a big deal at first when your partner starts showing signs of envy every now and then over the things you have or are capable of achieving but when it crosses its limit without any reason, it would become one among the different types of toxic behaviors that are very difficult to handle.
7. Unreliability
If your partner has been unreliable in the past and is not financially or emotionally supportive of your needs, that could be a red flag that he/she would never change for the good and might ruin your life after you two part ways.