There are tons of people who go through the pain of a breakup every single day. Breaking up with someone you once loved itself is problematic and hurting, and trying to forget those memories is even more hurtful. Many people go through this phase and ask themselves, is it wrong to talk to your ex while in a relationship?
If someone asks me this, I would say YES. It is very wrong to talk to your ex while you are in a relationship with another person. Your ex was your past, and they should stay there. You shouldn’t allow them to rule over your present too.
Sometimes it is easier to move on after some time, but moving on and completely forgetting your ex seems very difficult to even when the person is in a new relationship.
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Summary
- Talking to your ex while in a relationship can lead to comparisons and make your partner feel disrespected.
- It can create trust issues and make your current partner start to dislike you.
- There is a risk of falling in love with your ex again, jeopardizing your current relationship.
- Keeping in touch with your ex can divert your attention and hurt your current relationship.
- It is wrong to talk to your ex if your partner doesn’t approve, as it can damage trust and love.
Table of Contents
Why is it Wrong Keeping in Touch with Your Ex While in a Relationship?
Breaking up with someone you love is indeed a problematic and life-wrecking decision one has to make, but a couple breaks up or cut ties with each other when facing difficulty in being together.
No matter what but once you have broken up with your significant other, you shouldn’t stay in touch with each other all the time, especially when you have started seeing someone else. It is very unethical to stay in touch or talk to your exes when you are already engaged in a new relationship.
The problem in chatting with your ex is that it can revise old memories, make you sentimental, bring troubles in your relationship, distracts your affection, break your partner’s trust, and above all, confuse you. Keeping in touch with your ex brings lots of troubles in your happy relationship—some of which I’ll be discussing below.
1. You May Start Comparing Your Partner With Your Ex
The first and significant problem you face while talking to your ex while you are in a relationship is that you start to compare your present partner with your ex in every manner. Unintentionally, but you start to compare your present with your past, and; at some point, you start saying it loud too, which makes your partner feel bad. This comparison creates restlessness and anxiety in your as well as your new partner’s life too.
2. You May Make your Partner Feel Disrespected
Being friends with your ex while in a relationship shows that you don’t want to let go of your past. That is why you are holding on to it very tightly. You may think it’s none of your partner’s business whether you talk to your ex or not, but in reality, it is their business as you have entrusted your lives to each other at that time. This is an obscene and impolite gesture. This kind of behavior annoys your partner, and they feel disrespectful.
3. Talking to Your Ex Can Create Trust Issues
It’s completely wrong if you talk to your ex while in a relationship, because it shows that you are unhappy and discontented with your current relationship. Talking to your ex behind your partner’s back is a shameful and disrespectful thing, and doing so makes you a cheater and a dishonest partner.
Plus, talking to your ex creates trust issues between lovers as no one tolerates their significant other talking to their exes in front or behind their backs. Even you wouldn’t allow your partner to have contact with their ex.
4. Your Current Partner May Start Hating You
Thinking about or keeping in touch with an ex while in a relationship may divert your attention from the things you should be focusing on. You may become forgetful and distracted all the time that you ignore your present and duties towards your partner.
This behavior shows that you are holding on to your past when you should let it go and focus on your current partner’s plans. It may bring distance between you and your significant other. In severe cases, your partner may start disliking you or lose interest in you because of your insecurities and stubbornness (not letting go of your past and moving on).
5. You May Fall in Love with Your Ex Again
Talking to exes while in a relationship is very wrong because you and your ex had romantic feelings for each other. You guys completed each other by making each-other happy, making pleasant memories, sharing lovely moments, and loved each other very dearly.
Being romantically involved in the past makes your contact more dangerous and threatening for your current relationship. You knew each other very closely in the past, and texting an ex while in a relationship can light up the tiniest spark between you and your ex and make you fall for them heads over heels all over again.
6. You May End Up Hurting Yourself
The foundation of a happy and healthy relationship can easily be destroyed by keeping your ex in your life in any aspect, either talking or meeting them in person. Think of all the time and energy you spent to keep a relationship with your ex when all that time and effort should’ve gone into building and making your present relationship stronger.
The actual demonstration of manipulating two persons, the ex and the present lover, can discolor or ruin the relationship you’re in right now. If you put all the efforts into new relation wouldn’t your present relationship be more sincere, genuine, and profound?
You may think, how is it wrong to talk to your ex while in a relationship? But if you think deeply, it affects your current relationship in every aspect. Keep in mind that your last relationship ended for a reason. You should keep that reason in your mind, or else you would be hurting yourself and your partner too.
7. You May Jeopardize Your Current Relationship
Being friends with an ex can lead them to the false hope that they still have a chance, even when you are pleased and contented with your new relation and partner. Keeping in touch with your ex can give them the wrong idea about being unhappy or discontent with your relationship.
You should be blunt and honest while talking to them and tell them clearly that you are seeing someone else and you are happy, or else you will ruin your relationship with your own hands. To save your relation, you should set clear boundaries and let your ex know where your priorities lie.
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When Can You Be Friends With Your Ex & Keep In Touch With Them?
You can stay friends with your ex if you guys were friends before getting into a relationship or you guys had been in a short-term relationship. Keeping in touch with your ex while in a relationship is a terrible thing, but you can text your ex or stay in contact with them if you have kids together, i.e., for your kids’ betterment, schooling, etc.
New York Psychotherapist and author of The Breakup Bible, Rachel Sussman, strictly prohibits contact with the exes. Still, she also says if both parties know their boundaries and healthily are in touch, it is okay to stay friends.
Source: Time
Is It Wrong To Talk To My Ex If My Partner Hates It?
It is wrong and unethical to stay in touch with an ex, especially when your better half doesn’t approve of it. When you have given a clear idea about how your partner feels when you talk to your ex, you should not text your ex EVER. Doing so will do nothing but ruin your current relationship.
You shouldn’t stay in touch with your ex behind your partner’s back or even In-front of him/her. By staying in contact, you will lose your hard-earned trust and love. In the end, you’d be left with nothing but regrets.
Why Your Ex Keeps Contacting Or Texting You?
When you suddenly start receiving text messages from your ex from nowhere or when your ex starts talking to you very frequently, you become very confused and assume many things on your own. Are they trying to get back together? Do they have any favor to ask? Are they bored? etc. Honestly, it is quite normal for these random thoughts to rush to your mind at that time.
Rachel MacLynn, founder of the Vida Consultancy in London and chartered psychologist, says that the first thing you should focus on is ‘the duration of your breakup.’ How long have you guys been broken up for? Is your breakup new, or did you two broke-up a month or years ago?
Source: Heart
The second thing is who initiated the subject of a breakup? According to Rachel MacLynn, these two factors are essential to depict the actual purpose of your ex texting you.
Another scholar Bella Gandhi, president at Smart Dating Academy, also shares her logical views. She also agrees that a text from your ex could have a diverse variety of meanings to it. According to Bella Gandhi, the nature of text and circumstances when you broke-up defines the meaning of a text that you get from your ex from nowhere.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmXMPdWVvNg
Avoid Talking And Being Friends With Your Ex Now!
As Bella and Rachel said about the actual meaning behind your ex texting you, it depends on the situation and scenarios you guys had been in. Any sensible and mature person can sense it when something is fishy. You can stay in touch with your ex in some situations, but when your ex starts to cross the line or tries to misinterpret your intentions of contacting them, showing them a red flag becomes a must then.
When you feel that your ex is being more close and personal with you and you start to feel uncomfortable or being friends with them is disturbing your current relationship, you should definitely give them a shut-up call and cut off ties with them immediately. The faster you cut ties with them, the better it is for you and your current relationship.
Conclusion
Talking to your ex while in a relationship isn’t an ethical thing to do in the first place, but if somehow you start talking to them, you should stay very alert every time. Because this contact may cause many problems, and you may face many hurdles in your current relationship.
Many people think why it is wrong to talk to your ex while in a relationship; it is wrong because it causes unwanted problems and difficulties in your happy life.
Talking to your ex sometimes confuse you and distract you from your current healthy relationship. It confuses you to the point where you start to question your decision (of breaking-up with your ex), or you start to compare your past with your present, you start to ignore your partner, and in the end, all this drama ends up with another breakup or sad ending.
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You may think it is fair to talk to your ex, but it is not because it eventually leads to distraction, and distraction leads to destruction, and surely you won’t want your happy life to become living hell for you and your partner too.