As a child, your mother would have been probably the first person you would have seen every morning and is very precious to you. However, there are a select few who have different views on this relationship. This article will share mentally abusive mother signs and how to deal with them.
For some people, a mother is not meant to be a source of comfort and love for her child but instead is seen as someone who inflicts pain and misery upon him/her throughout their life. People refer to such mothers as Mentally Abusive.
What Will I Learn?
- What Is Mental Abuse?
- Signs Of Mentally Abusive Mothers
- 1) Your Mother Constantly Belittles And Humiliates You
- 2) Mentally Abusive Mothers Uses Negative Reinforcement
- 3) Your Mother Continuously Demands Physical Affection From You
- 4) You Are Afraid Of Disobeying Your Mother
- 5) You Need Her For Permission For Everything That You Do
- 6) Mentally Abusive Mothers Often Disregards Your Opinions
- 7. Mentally Abusive Mothers Do Not Allow Makeing Your Own Decisions
- 8. Mentally Abusive Mothers Are Controlling And Pushy
- How To Deal With An Mentally Abusive Mother?
- 1. Be Persistent Enough To Face Your Mentally Abusive Mother
- 2. Do Not Blame Yourself For What Is Happening
- 3. Do Not Give Your Mentally Abusive Mother Any Reason To Be Angry
- 4. Make Sure That Your Abusive Mother Does Not Control You
- 5. Keep Yourself Busy To Avoid Your Abusive Mother
- 6. Do Not Show Your Mother That Her Abuse Is Working
- 7. Share Your Feeling Regarding Your Mother To Feel Light
What Is Mental Abuse?
Mental abuse is defined as any act which may result in mental injury to an individual. It is a form of domestic violence, which consists of a pattern of coercive behavior that can result in psychological trauma and long-term negative effects on one’s life.
Mental abuse is one of the most common types of abuse that people face daily without even realizing it. It might not be as severe as physical abuse, but mental abuse can easily break someone’s spirits and leave them wondering how they got to this point in their lives.
However, if you can identify some of the signs of mental abuse, then you will be able to avoid situations that might lead to more severe problems in the future.
Signs Of Mentally Abusive Mothers
One way to begin identifying whether your mother is mentally abusive or not would be by looking at the signs present in her. Following are some of the signs that clearly show you that your mother is mentally abusive:
1) Your Mother Constantly Belittles And Humiliates You
There will be times when she may get angry with you or simply not approve of something, but it is only normal for parents to criticize their children in some way.
However, if the criticism turns into humiliation and your mother constantly berates you in public or when you are around friends, then it is time that you intervene.
2) Mentally Abusive Mothers Uses Negative Reinforcement
She prevents your friends from meeting with you and talks about how they are a bad influence on you. Whatever the case may be, if your mother constantly punishes you for doing something or even for not doing anything at all, then it is a sign of mental abuse.
3) Your Mother Continuously Demands Physical Affection From You
There are certain ways through which a child can show that they love their parents and parents show love to their children as well. However, when those loving gestures turn into demands from the parent’s end, then they would lead to problems between the two parties involved.
It may be as simple as hugging her before going to bed or buying a gift out of guilt now and again. If your mother continues to demand excessive physical affection from you, then it is time that you speak up and take measures to stop the abuse.
4) You Are Afraid Of Disobeying Your Mother
If your mother can snap at any given moment and turn things around so that she looks like the victim in this situation, then it is a clear sign of mental abuse.
You may find yourself feeling afraid of disobeying your mother since she cannot only make you feel guilty but also come up with ways in which she can make sure that your life is miserable.
This fear will lead to depression because you are never able to do anything on your own accord or even meet people without receiving permission from her first. Thus, if you are feeling afraid of going against your mother, then it is time that you get help from a third party.
5) You Need Her For Permission For Everything That You Do
From going out to meet friends to even planning on what movie you would be watching together on Friday night, your mother’s opinion is important in almost everything that you do.
Thus, if you find yourself constantly asking her for permission and waiting for an answer before deciding on something, then it can only mean one thing: mental abuse.
6) Mentally Abusive Mothers Often Disregards Your Opinions
Whenever you try to discuss something with her or simply voice out your opinion about certain things, she will always completely disregard that opinion and continue speaking to you as if she doesn’t care.
She will also belittle your opinion or even blatantly say that you do not know what you are talking about. If you find yourself constantly facing this problem, then it is time that you speak up against it before things get even worse.
7. Mentally Abusive Mothers Do Not Allow Makeing Your Own Decisions
Mentally abusive mothers are usually the kind who want to have control over every aspect of their child’s life. This means that they will even go as far as making sure that you do not make your own decisions regarding things that you wish to achieve in life.
For example, if you wished to become a doctor, but your mother said that you should become a teacher instead, then chances are that you are talking to someone who is mentally abusive.
8. Mentally Abusive Mothers Are Controlling And Pushy
Another sign of mentally abusive mothers would be the fact that they like to control everything in their child’s life even though it might not concern them at all.
For example, if you are dating someone whom your mother does not approve of, then she will probably try to stop you from spending time with him by trying to make you feel guilty about the situation.
How To Deal With An Mentally Abusive Mother?
Indeed, a lot of times, mentally abusive mothers do not even realize what they are doing to their children because it is just second nature for them to constantly criticize or put down those around them.
However, there are certain steps that you should take if you find yourself being constantly mentally abused by your mother.
1. Be Persistent Enough To Face Your Mentally Abusive Mother
You may feel as though you are alone in this situation, but that is never the case. You have to remember that there are people who have been through similar situations and have managed to get out of them with ease.
The first step would be educating yourself about victims of mental abuse so you know what to do next. Once you are aware of the problem at hand, then it is time that you approach a doctor or even talk to your father or any member of her family if they are aware of the situation.
2. Do Not Blame Yourself For What Is Happening
By blaming yourself for what is happening, it will only make things worse because no one deserves to go through mental abuse regardless of whatever reasons are behind it.
Thus, if you are being mentally abused by your mother, then there is nothing that you can do about it because the only person who can change things around is her and not you.
3. Do Not Give Your Mentally Abusive Mother Any Reason To Be Angry
The best way to deal with someone who has a short temper as such would be to simply give them no reason to become angry or violent at all. This means that if they feel as though their right on something is being challenged.
Then they will grow angry at you and use whatever methods necessary to make sure that their point of view prevails and yours doesn’t. If possible, it would be even better if you avoid crossing paths entirely so that you are not on their radar anymore.
If the person who is mentally abusing you happens to be your mother, then there are chances that you might feel guilty about leaving them behind since they are family.
However, if they are using mental abuse as a method of bringing you down and making your life hell all the time, then it would be best for everyone involved if you were to leave them behind since mental abuse can only get worse over time.
4. Make Sure That Your Abusive Mother Does Not Control You
If you find that there are certain things that you enjoy doing but your mother always tells you that you cannot do them, then it is time to express your opinion regarding the matter in a calm manner.
Tell her how sad it makes you feel when she brings up these issues and make sure that she understands how much you want to do these things. If she is incapable of understanding your point of view, then it would be best if you ignore her advice and continue doing the things that make you happy.
5. Keep Yourself Busy To Avoid Your Abusive Mother
If you find yourself being mentally abused all the time, then it is important to make sure that you have something to look forward to in life. This could be anything from a hobby or even spending time with your loved ones.
Whenever you are busy doing things that make you happy, then it will automatically take your mind off of the situation at hand and allow you to focus on better things instead.
6. Do Not Show Your Mother That Her Abuse Is Working
The best thing that you can do to stop someone who is mentally abusing you would be to not react the way that they want you to react.
If she wants you to feel guilt towards her, then it would be best if you ignore any of the things that she says and continue living your life without any concerns.
Being mentally abused by your mother is never something that you are going to forget about right away. If she has said things that hurt you, then it would be best if you told someone about this immediately.
Do not ever hesitate to share all of your feelings with anybody who will give you a listening ear since this will help you get rid of the pain faster.
There are various signs of a mentally abusive mother which include labeling their child with cruel names, belittling everything they do, constantly comparing them to others, and ruining any form of self-esteem or confidence which their child may have had.
If you have been experiencing some or all of these problems, then you should stop spending time with your mother altogether and keep yourself busy by doing the things that make you happy instead.
Remember that mental abuse is not a joke and can cause long-term damage if not dealt with properly.