Should I Talk To My Ex? 8 Things To Consider!

After a breakup, it’s totally normal to miss your ex. Especially when you get bored or lonely, it is easy to forget the unpleasant things that happened in the relationship. You might wonder now if you should talk to your ex or not. According to you, it’s a great idea.

Nevertheless, make sure what you want is beneficial for your future before making any decision. If you intend to stay in contact with your ex, let’s discuss the pros and cons of talking to your ex in this article. We will also discuss the need to have some boundaries. Please read it thoroughly before you decide to move back to your ex. 

Summary

Related: Is It Wrong To Talk To Your Ex While In A Relationship?

8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Talking to an Ex

If you are considering contacting your ex again, you should ask your family and friends. They may not tell you the things you want to hear about them, but they will undoubtedly tell you what you need to hear. Your relatives and friends have seen how you were in the relationship, how it was, and how happy you were during that time. 

Currently, you might be bored, or you think the breakup was a mistake, or you feel guilty about the breakup. Now you want the mistakes to be cleared out by going back to your ex, that’s what you want to talk to your ex. But is this an intelligent decision to make? Is it healthy to reopen that chapter in your life again?

However, giving yourself some time to reflect on your plans or decisions is a good idea. Make sure you ask yourself some questions before making any significant decisions. 

1. Are You Sure of Your Decision?

Relax, take a moment to ponder your thoughts, and consider what kind of frame of mind you are in. Are you sure you want your ex back? Or is there something that is making you talk to your ex? 

Do you feel lonely? Have you been through something terrible and are now looking for support? You may miss the sense of being in a relationship. You will regret your decision if you experience such feelings for a short time. 

You shouldn’t contact an ex if you are not in a healthy and stable state of mind. Firstly, make yourself assured that your decision is beneficial for your future. Before you get into a relationship again, ask yourself: are you ready mentally for a relationship again?

2. How Did You Two Break Up? What Made You Two Break Up?

We are human, and we can all make mistakes. A second chance is our right. Whether the mistakes are yours or your ex’s, mistakes can lead to a breakup in a relationship.

Let’s say you want to reach out to your ex. But please let’s not forget what the problem was that led to the breakup between you two. 

3. What Kind of Relationship Did You Two Have?

There can be many reasons for breaking up, such as circumstances, finances, or if you’re a person with manners living with others who are carefree is hard for you. 

Then you can consider getting your ex back since there’s still a chance. In any case, if the breakup was due to their cheating or abuse, you should not think about getting them back. The person who is capable of cheating for one time can repeat it more than once. At any moment of aggression, they won’t have the ability to control themselves from getting abusive.  

4. Do You Think Your Ex Is Ready to Come Back to You? 

What does your ex want? You should stay clear about that. Do they want to come back to you, or have they moved on? Have they moved on to someone else?

There is a chance that you are taking more time to realize that your relationship is over and they don’t want you anymore. Perhaps you will recognize this when you find out that they are married or in a new relationship. 

Related: 30+ Signs Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You! What Should You Do About It?

5. If There Is No Chance How to Get Over the Breakup?

Once you remove all hope, you’ll be able to start getting over your breakup truly. Do not allow negative thoughts to destroy you. You should not try to come between your ex and their new relationship just for the sake of your satisfaction. 

Spend some time with the people who support you. Allow yourself some time to rise and move on. Spend some time doing something you enjoy. The easiest way to prevent yourself from contacting them is to either delete or block their number. 

6. Why Do You Want Your Ex Back?

You want to make an effort to get your ex back into your life, so you are considering contacting them again. What would be the purpose of that? What makes you wish your ex would come back to you? The only reason that could explain it is: You still love your ex. 

The most logical reason for wanting your ex back is because you still love them and wish to see them again. It is not as simple as it seems; in reality, you can misunderstanding love for someone when you are unemployed or depressed and have nothing else to do in life. 

Perhaps you just want the feeling of love back in your life. You regret the breakup, and you think you can start the relationship again without making mistakes. However, it’s far from easy. 

7. Can You Resolve the Issues?

The breakup occurred because of some issues, and now that both of you want to get back together again, are you sure you want it? Do you think this time will be different? 

It is vital for you first to figure out what the problem was when you broke up. If there are any solutions to that problem, proceed ahead and resolve it. 

If you and your ex are willing to compromise over the issues, then that’s also fine. Instead, you should resolve those issues, so you do not regret anything in the future. If you guys are ready to compromise, and think you are above those issues, then you may talk to your ex.  

8. Is It Worth Giving a Relationship Another Chance?

Yes, even with a second chance, people can be satisfied. The problems you have encountered with your ex are not guaranteed never to resurface, even if they have been resolved. Sometimes it is better to begin a new relationship. Do not run behind what is over. Those mistakes are a learning process for you both.

You need to be very clear and sure that the relationship will work this time and that the past problems won’t repeat. For this to succeed, both sides must be on the same page. 

If your ex-partner cheated on you in the past, it could be risky to give them a second chance as they may cheat again. In rare cases, ex-partners who are serious won’t cheat again. If you want to feel more secure, then ask your friends as they know better than you and can guide you better as they have seen you together. Give our relationship a chance if they say so. 

4 Benefits of Talking to an Ex After a Breakup

1. You can Identify the Problems that Caused the Breakup

If you become attached to your ex, you will understand the issues between the two. The breakup was caused by what? What were the shortcomings? 

Getting to know your shortcomings allows you to understand the issues better, and being friends will help you understand the problems from a different perspective. This will help you not repeat these mistakes despite your inability to be together again or your unwillingness to get back together.

For example, if you don’t respect your partner’s personal space due to your insistence on being with them all the time, it leads to a breakup. Once you understand that, you will know that boundaries have to be established even between couples.   

2. There Is Someone Who Knows You

A close relationship with your ex has its benefits; for example, you will have someone who understands you properly. You do not have to go through making friends and then, after some time, trusting them. 

You know your ex-partner very well. You will not hesitate before saying or asking anything to them since there is no awkwardness between you two. Even though you two are friends, it is perfectly OK that your relationship didn’t work out. At least you know that you can trust them. 

3. Acceptance of Situations

The fact that you are friends with yourself shows you have the maturity to accept things that do not go your way. This indicates that you are mature enough to handle things and move on in your life with positivity.

Having a positive attitude brings a glow to you, and most people appreciate that. 

4. You May See Different Side of Your Ex

By staying in touch with your ex, you will see the other side of your ex. In each relationship, each partner is different, yet they are different people when hanging out with friends. Aren’t we all? Don’t you think so?

With our friends, we are naughty, playful, and simply different people. We tend to be suffocated with our partners. Similarly, even if you are friends with your partner, you still have to consider your words before speaking, whereas we are not usually thinking before speaking with friends. 

By staying in touch with an ex, you can learn how completely different they can be with their family, friends, and partners. Even if not completely different, there is still a difference. You will see another side for your ex, whom you never met before. 

4 Disadvantages of Talking to an Ex After a Breakup.

Talking to your ex after a breakup is not easy. You have to be very strong to be friends with your ex. There seem to be a few disadvantages to talking to your ex.

The process of forgetting everything and becoming the way you and your ex used to be is complicated. We cannot forget anything that has hurt us in our life at any given time. Despite your coming back together, there will still be a certain consciousness between you that was never there before. 

1. They May Take You for Granted

If you give them a chance, there is a very high likelihood that they will hurt you again. Indeed, they can hurt you again if you tolerate everything. 

They understand your shortcomings; they know you love them and know that they will be forgiven again and again. 

Your ex may misbehave again if they have mistreated you before, and you may forgive them again and again. They know they can get away with it because you will forgive them and will not leave them. 

2. You Cannot Move Forward 

It’s essential to move on in your life; staying stuck in the past is harmful to you mentally and physically. The impact of staying in touch with an ex is that you never move on. Instead, you keep thinking about them all the time and are always hopeful that they will return. 

If you do not allow yourself to get over a breakup and an ex, you limit yourself from growing. As a result, you do not show interest in new things, and as a result, you are not pursuing your goals either. You also lose your image if you have constant negative thoughts.

You will compare your relationship to that. Watching them move on with someone else will make you jealous. 

3. You May Fall in Love Again

Having feelings for someone can make it difficult to be friends with them. There is a very high potential for both of you to be attracted to each other again and attempt to give each other another chance. In the unlikely event that they fail to fall in love again, one of them will fall in love again. Eventually, they will start stalking them and chasing them.

4. It Will Harm Your Current Relationship

You will put your new partner in a vulnerable position by staying in touch with your ex. Most boys and even some girls in our societies do not want their partners to be connected to their ex either as friends or as professionals. 

Your relationship might suffer again, and perhaps you will have to deal with a breakup again. 

Try to Find Out Your Reasons for Talking to Your Ex

You need to find out why you want to talk to your ex or talk to your ex?

There could be some possible reasons for it. 

1. You Feel You Are Still Compatible

The two of you were in a relationship. You broke up because of some circumstances. Now, after some time has passed, you think about them or talk with them and feel that you are still compatible to be together. 

Even if you are not in a relationship with your ex, you want to remain friends, as you trust them and there’s no awkwardness between you. Both of you handled the breakup gracefully. 

2. You Want Them Back

You may talk to your ex to get them back in your life, either because you regret your breakup or realize that you cannot live without them. The feelings you were not able to successfully get rid of about your ex. This means you haven’t moved on from your ex. 

You will do your very best to get back together with your ex if you get a chance. 

3. You Just Want to Stay in Touch with Them

You still love your ex, but your ex moved on in their life. However, now all they want to do is make sure they are OK. You call them and check on them. You do not want to be cut off from your ex completely. 

You want to stay updated about them. There are times when all you want is for the person you love to remain in your life, if not as your partner, then as a friend. 

5 Precautions You Should Take If you Want to Talk To Your Ex

1. Give Yourself Time

You need to take the time you need to recover from your ex. Be careful not to become overly dependent on your ex. Stay calm and make sure to work on yourself instead. Take care of your appearance, focus on your career or your studies, and become a successful person in your life. Never rely on anyone entirely, not even on your former partner. 

There’s nothing wrong with talking to your ex. However, you need to set some boundaries, so you don’t end up back with them, or you don’t end up disconnected from them. In the case of a relative, this is very important, as you cannot ignore them completely. 

2. Feelings Must Be Controlled

Keep a calm attitude. You should not show your ex that you are suffering without them. Try to stay calm and improve yourself instead.

Making them realize they have lost a gem is more valuable than making them feel good about their decision. They dumped you for a reason. You should never talk to them or even try to be back together with them if they dumped you for someone else. They will do it again and leave you hurt. ‘

3. Do Not Overflow Their Inbox with Messages

Be a good ex instead of a clingy one. Don’t bombard their chats with messages. Chat with your ex, but set some boundaries. Because of your clinginess, they may be annoyed by you, which may worsen the situation.

As long as you both handle the situation correctly, staying in touch with your ex is not a problem. If not, try to use a no-contact rule, and if not, try not to contact them constantly.

4. You Should Not Be Harsh with Your Ex

Be a decent ex, and do not bother them. Don’t act as if everything that has happened to you is their fault. They are guilty of everything. Due to them, a breakup occurred. 

Speaking negatively about them in public is unacceptable, and you should also maintain your dignity since what transpired between the two of you should remain private. 

5. Set Boundaries with Your Ex

You should set some boundaries, and no one should cross them at any time. Make your ex aware of your limitations. Despite what you may think, it isn’t that simple. It is challenging at different levels. 

However, setting boundaries and keeping them informed will not cause any misunderstandings.

As an example, if there is a child involved. Talking should have some boundaries and time limits; no one should exceed that. 

What Is the Right Time to Talk to Your Ex?

When You’ve Completely Moved On from Your Ex

The best time to talk to your ex is when you feel you are over your ex and want to know what they are up to. Though you think about them, you are not sad or depressed anymore.

Keep your ex at a distance by following the no contact rule between now and then. If they wish to speak with you, they will contact you. 

When You Don’t Feel Bad Seeing Them with Someone Else

After a breakup, it takes quite some time for you to no longer feel jealousy, negative thoughts, or feelings of hurt when you see your ex with someone else. 

As soon as you realize that your ex has moved on and that it doesn’t bother you, then you are over it. If they share their new relationship with you, but you no longer care about it, this is a good sign. 

Getting over jealousy is a vital step in getting over sadness or suffering. You will no longer struggle with your feelings if you pass this step. 

If You Have No Hope

I agree that we all hope that our ex-partner will return to us after a while, and we’ve convinced ourselves they will return. 

When you feel you have overcome this feeling, you know they won’t be coming back, or even if they do, you can’t be with them. It is OK to speak with them when you feel you have reached this point.

When You Are at Peace with Everything

As we’ve already said. It no longer bothers you that your ex is in a new relationship, nor do you hope they will return. So that means you are comfortable with what’s happening. You are happy with the way your life is going for you. 

Can I Get My Ex Back If I Talk to My Ex?

It is possible to regain your ex’s affection. However, let’s make sure that what they want is clear before they make any decision. Do you want your ex back? You should follow these steps to get your ex back

Ensure They Still Want You

Make sure your ex still have feelings for you before you move ahead and make a decision. Send them a text to confirm what they want. If they reply, talk to them and see if they still care. 

In the course of our conversation, if they reach out to you. You sense that they are interested in you. It’s great if you have the chance.

Take Care of Yourself

Invest time in yourself. Be an independent individual. People like independent individuals. Don’t forget to spend some time on your hobbies. Concentrate on the things you are neglecting during the relationship, develop yourself, and accept everything around you. In most cases, this can help you move on from your ex. 

Let Them Have Their Space

Consider applying the rule of no contact. This will prevent you from texting, calling, or disrupting your ex. They will have a chance to think about you. If they are interested, they will make an effort to be with you.

Just let them be, let them live their life. Eventually, they will start thinking about you once they can get themselves together, but don’t rush them. Please do not force them to communicate with you. They will do it by themselves if they want to do it. 

Spend Time with Your Loved Ones

In times of boredom, we begin to think about getting our ex back; however, if you want to get back with your ex, give yourself some time. Make travel plans with either your family or your friends. 

Spend time together, take part in different events with your family. Nevertheless, if you still want them, you can speak to them

Discuss Breakup with Them

Discuss the breakup, why it happened, how to solve the issues, and were these issues that serious that you made this decision? The way you do this shows them you care for them.

You can try to sort out the issues and talk about the breakup with them, so they begin to think of getting back to you, but you need to speak frankly about it.

Should I Talk to My Ex? – Final Verdict

Although so much time has passed since the breakup, it is still very common to think about your ex every time someone mentions your ex. Perhaps you are wondering what is going on with them, or maybe you are wondering if you should talk to your ex. 

Even though you didn’t cry after the breakup, now you feel you want them back. But before we make any decisions, I would like you to answer a few questions (Mentioned above). If you are sure you know the answer, then you can talk to your ex. However, talking to an ex has some benefits and advantages  

If you’ve been thinking about talking to your ex, you might wonder when is the right time. When you are done with them and no more extended care about them, that is the right time for you to talk to them. 

You can even get your ex back by doing some simple things. Try to contact them and talk about your breakup and try to resolve your past issues.