The one who has dumped you must have their reason to do so. But whoever got dumped has to bear the pain and goes through depression and anxiety. We’ve discussed no-contact before; now we’re going to share the stages of no-contact for dumpee and ex.
To understand the dumpee’s feelings, you should read this article; this will help you out and tell you the no contact benefits.
Summary
- Dumped individuals experience pain, depression, and anxiety while going through a breakup, and the stages of no-contact can help them heal.
- The stages of no-contact for a dumpee include denial of reality, where they struggle to accept the end of the relationship.
- Dumpees may experience physical symptoms like headaches, chest pain, and emotional symptoms like fear and social segregation.
- Acceptance is the next stage, where the dumpee starts to heal and focuses on self-improvement and moving forward.
- Recovery occurs when the dumpee no longer obsesses over their ex, finds new hobbies, and is ready for a new relationship.
Table of Contents
Stages of No-contact for a Dumpee
During the emotional roller coaster that follows a breakup, the dumpee undergoes some pain. When the dumper chooses not to contact, the dumpee will go through some stage.
We described the stages on the basics of anxiety, depression, or pain. We understand that dumpees experience a great deal of pain. No one can understand these painful emotional experiences until they’ve experienced them. The three stages of the No contact rule for a dumpee are discussed below briefly.
1. The Denial of Reality
When we feel something shouldn’t be happening or that it can’t be happening, we deny the reality of it. The dumpee faces many emotions during this no-contact time since he or she is in denial. The occasional negative thought or mood swing is normal for the dumpee. Because as of now, they are not ready to accept the end of their relationship.
Usually, it takes a little while for individuals to recover fully. However, they must begin by accepting and healing themselves. As dumpees experience extreme pain and anxiety at waking hours, sleeping is the easiest way to escape reality.
In most cases, when people are stressed or want to escape something and have no other option, they choose to sleep. Overthinking and worrying makes them feel horrible, so they need sleep to keep themselves away from feeling that way.
Dumpees may begin to question themselves or have thoughts like What if? Should this be happening, or could it be possible? This could lead to extreme depression; thus, their physical and emotional well-being will get affected.
When someone is going through depression, you can see specific symptoms. The symptoms can be physical or emotional.
Physical Symptoms
You can see these physical symptoms in someone who has been dumped.
- Headaches
- Dizziness
- Shaking hands or a whole body
- Nausea
- Chest pain
- breathings difficulties
The Dumpee with Severe Suffering can be at Risk for Some dangers:
- Risk of heart attack
- Weight gain or weight loss
- High blood pressure
- Difficulty in sleeping
Emotional Symptoms
In some cases, the dumpee may show emotional symptoms
- Fear
- Panic attacks
- Impatience
- Restlessness
- No concentration
- No interest in oneself
- Social segregation
- Poor eating routine
Make yourself a busy person and go out and work if you want to come out of these situations. Do not hesitate to seek professional assistance if you are experiencing extreme suffering. Consult a professional. If you visit a psychologist, therapist, or a general doctor, they will help you either by prescribing you medicine or giving you advice.
2. Acceptance
After some time in denial, the person finally moves on to the next stage. They begin accepting things and acting maturely. Self-evaluation is the stage before completely accepting what is happening in your life. It means a person is giving them a chance to get out of a miserable pain breakup.
Before the dumpee heals, there is a stage when they become obsessed with their ex. A couple of weeks can pass during the denial period. But this period depends entirely on the individual as to whether or not he or she will make an effort to steer clear of the situation.
People make excuses to reconnect with their ex-partners at this stage since they think that the breakup was due to them. They aim to make things right between them and their ex. Their only goal at this point is to get their ex back.
Right now, the only thing that matters is the ex, and they scrutinize every move and word by their exes. By overthinking, they may make everything more complicated and stressful. Stress can lead to mental illness, killing them internally, affecting their organs and mental health.
Stress can adversely affect these parts of your body: your heart and your brain. It can cause weight gain and loss (some people gain weight when stressed, and others lose weight).
Usually, after a difficult time, dumpees open the door for healing within themselves. This can be conscious or subconscious. Taking time for themselves, reading books, going out with friends, and otherwise being busy at work enables them to grow.
Dumpees are only able to move forward when they accept their fate and move on. When we change our thoughts, we also change our emotions. So when we think that we are happy or should be moving forward, our feelings and mind understand that. You need to tell your mind that you are comfortable and completely ok.
To stop being annoyed by something or someone, you have to change your emotions toward that thing or person successfully. Start spending the depression time on your improvement, the time you will spend on yourself will be the most beneficial.
Setbacks
The setback is terrible for everyone, but for dumpees, they are particularly painful. There will be many emotions they will have to deal with, which is awful. In one moment, the dumpees are happy; they are ready to give up everything in another moment.
Dumped people can heal themselves once they recover from these setbacks or understand how to recover from them. For some, setbacks can last for months or even years. But if you know how to recover from them, It will be a good sign as the understanding of recovering from setbacks is an achievement.
3. Recovery
Once the dumpees start to think for themselves, that means they have begun to recover. At this stage, they are not obsessed with their exes anymore. They have recovered to the point where they are now learning like ordinary people.
As the dumpee has started to think about himself or herself, they will find new hobbies, new activities. Maybe, they are also ready for a new relationship. The whole process for the dumpee can take about an estimated one year, but it also depends wholly on the dumpee; how they handle the situation. Duration can be longer or shorter depending on the dumpee’s attitude and ability.
A dumpee’s recovery will be possible if they love themselves and change their attitude towards themselves and, especially if they are willing to recover and think positively.
Stages of No Contact For an Ex
The majority of the events in our life, whether they are joyous or sad, happen in cycles. It takes time. There is a four-stage cycle in which no-contact works for an ex. The stages they go through being an ex.
Stage 1: Relief
Space is something everyone wants, from everything, whether it is a job or relationship. If someone does not get enough space, then the relationship becomes frustrated. Nobody would love to hear this when the person decides to quit their relationship; that breakup gave your ex relief. They needed it, as this time will tell you both what you want from each other.
Although the breakup was painful, maybe it was necessary for them. A relationship that was a burden, awkward or painful, has been eliminated. It’s not that you just got out; it’s that it was a burden they got rid of. You must leave your ex alone altogether, no violation of the No-contact rule; you must follow the rule strictly.
Once you are gone from your ex’s life, they will begin to feel the adverse effects this breakup will have on them if you were right. In the beginning, there’s a feeling of freedom that everyone experiences. As they have fun with their friends and family, it just remains in the beginning phase of the breakup.
Do not feel bad if your ex posts some pictures with their friends; it’s just the beginning and the feeling of freedom they are experiencing. For those who are used to sharing or always having someone to rely on, this period will be concise for them. With time, they will move to the next phase.
Stage 2: Inquisitiveness
The first stage of relief, which usually lasts a week or two, is followed by the next step when your ex becomes curious about you. After a while, they will miss you and wonder why you didn’t try to reach out to them.
Maintaining the No-contact rule will make your ex more curious about you. Since your daily life has been made known to them, they will start to think about you more often, what you are doing? and what you are up to?
Due to curiosity, your ex will think about you a lot more than usual. As a result, they will make an effort to contact you. Furthermore, this will enable them to move onto the next stage.
Your ex will start wondering what you are up to and your reason for being so silent. Even if they are in a relationship now, they will be thinking about you all the time. By posting more pictures of their new partner, they might try to convince themselves and you that they are happy in their new relationship.
Stage 3: Fear of Losing the Person
It is frustrating when you don’t know a thing about your ex after such a long time. When your ex doesn’t know what you’re doing, they’re going to feel like you’ve moved on and you don’t want them anymore, which makes them afraid. As a result of fear, they will start making efforts to get you back in their life.
As soon as your ex feels fear, they will reach out to you. When they realize that you can move on and have a happy life and can completely forget them, that’s when they will start to miss you.
Your ex will finally see how important you were to them when they would feel the value of your presence in their lives. You will hear from them as you were following the no contact rule. They may also try to contact you through social media or friends.
Unlike before, they cannot control your life now that they are not here anymore. They have no control over your life. When you first left, they didn’t feel the pain of losing you, but they are starting to think about it now. It’s possible that they still aren’t sure what exactly they want, but they want you to wait until they figure it out.
You must follow the no contact rule and not show them that you want them back if they contacted you.
Some Benefits of the No-contact Rule
The no-contact rule is no texting, and no connection with your ex, no calls, no stalking, no making excuses to talk to them. Some no-contact rule benefits enable the person to grow.
- You find a new perspective in your life.
- Find new hobbies or new activities.
- It gives you time to grief over your ending relationship.
- You get some time to accept everything.
- You get some time to take care of yourself.
Conclusion
The broken-hearted person will try to find happiness in the person who is not likely to give them pleasure at all. When someone dumps their partner, they go through some stages of pain and grief in their life. Although those stages can last mainly for some time, it also depends on them; if they handle the situation properly, they can get out of it pretty soon
The dumpee’s first reaction will be denial. Denial from reality as they do not want their exes to go away. They feel they are guilty of this, and they start to question themselves for the breakup. During the period of denial, the person can go into depression. It can affect the person physically and mentally
A physically and emotionally suffering person will show signs that tell he is suffering and needs some help. Severe stress can lead to panic attacks and memory loss, mood swings. After this stage, they finally start to heal and accept what happened to them, and eventually, they recover,
Dumpees recover when they start to think for themselves, for their happiness, and their future.
The ex also goes through some stages, the person to whom you are applying the no contact rule. In the beginning, they feel they have finally achieved freedom, but as time goes on, they start to miss you. They are used to having someone to talk to and share their problems with or someone who used to have a romantic relationship. That’s why they start missing you after some time.
Exes start to become curious about their ex, and the fear of losing them gets high, as they feel they must have moved on. If the person can recover from setbacks, it is a good sign as they can handle the situation and can recover soon.