Science of Emotional Shutdown: Why Do I Shut Down When I’m Upset?

Do you ever feel like you just can’t take it anymore? That everything is too much and the only way to make it stop is to completely shut down?

If so, you’re not alone. Emotional shutdown is a common response to feeling overwhelmed or upset.

We’ve all been there. We’re upset about something and suddenly we feel like we can’t think straight, or worse like we can’t feel anything at all.

Our emotions seem to just disappear and we go into what seems like a state of hibernation. This is emotional shutdown and it’s a defense mechanism that our brains use in order to protect us from overwhelming stress or trauma.

In this blog post, we will explore why emotional shutdown happens, how it affects our lives, and what we can do to prevent it.

We will also discuss the dangers of shutting down our emotions in the face of trauma, and offer some tips for communicating with someone who shuts down emotionally.

Why Do I Shut Down When I’m Upset?

Why Do I Shut Down When I'm Upset

It’s been said that when we get upset, we “shut down.” But what does that really mean?

When we shut down, we’re essentially withdrawing from the situation. We may not say anything, or if we do say something, it’s usually short and clipped.

Our body language may convey that we’re not interested in engaging. We may even leave the room physically.

Why do we shut down?

There are a few reasons why we might shut down when we’re upset.

1. Avoid Conflict by Practicing Active Listening

It can be difficult to avoid conflict, but active listening is a skill that can help. When you are in a conversation, really pay attention to the other person. Listen to what they are saying and try to understand their point of view.

Don’t just wait for your turn to speak; truly listen to the other person. This way, you can avoid misunderstandings and resolve conflict before it gets out of hand.

2. Way Of Self-Protection

Shutting down is a way of self-protection. When we feel like we’re under attack, our first instinct is often to retreat and protect ourselves. By withdrawing, we hope to avoid further hurt.

3. Not Know How to Respond

Sometimes we shut down because we don’t know how to respond. We may not have the words to express how we’re feeling, or we may be so overwhelmed that we can’t think straight. In these cases, it’s best to take a step back and give yourself time to calm down and process what’s going on.

4. We May Feel Helpless

When we’re upset, we may feel like we’re not in control of the situation. This can lead us to feeling helpless and wanting to give up. We may feel like there’s nothing we can do to make the situation better.

This can be especially true if we’re dealing with someone who is being difficult or uncooperative. In these cases, it’s easy to feel like we’re powerless.

5. Situation Is Too Difficult

We don’t want to deal with the situation. This is often the case when the situation is too difficult or painful for us to handle. We may want to avoid feeling the pain or dealing with the difficulties. This is often the case when we’re dealing with a loss or a major life change.

6. We May Feel Anxious

Sometimes, we may feel anxious about the situation. We may be worried about what will happen next. We may be concerned about how we will handle the situation. This can lead us to feeling overwhelmed and wanting to shut down.

7. We May Feel Exhausted

Sometimes, we may feel like we can’t handle the situation. We may be exhausted from trying to deal with it. We may feel like we’re at the end of our rope. This can lead us to feeling defeated and wanting to give up.

What Can You Do Instead Of Shutting Down When You Are Upset?

In order to not shut down when you are upset, it is important to understand your triggers and what sets off your emotions. Once you know what these things are, you can begin to work on a plan to avoid them or deal with them in a healthier way.

1. Come Up With Action Plan

It is helpful to come up with an action plan for when you start to feel upset. This can be anything from taking a walk to listening to music. The important thing is that you have something to do that will help you calm down and avoid shutting down.

2. Talk To Someone

Shutting down emotionally can make it difficult to communicate with others. If you are feeling upset, it is important to reach out to someone and talk about what is going on. This can be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone else with who you feel comfortable talking.

3. Write Down Your Feelings

If you are not able to talk to someone about your feelings, writing them down can be a helpful way to get them out. This can be in the form of a journal or just writing down your thoughts on paper.

4. Work On Your Communication Skills

One reason people shut down when they are upset is that they do not feel like they can communicate effectively. If this is something you struggle with, there are many resources available to help you improve your communication skills.

Why Do I Shut Down When I'm Upset

How Do I Stop The Emotional Shutdown?

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be difficult to know how to respond. You may feel like shutting down emotionally to protect yourself from further hurt.

However, this can lead to problems in your relationships and prevent you from resolving the issues that are causing you stress. It’s important to learn how to deal with your emotions healthily.

There are a few steps you can take to start managing your emotions:

  • Acknowledge Your Feelings. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings, even if you don’t understand them. Ignoring your emotions will not make them go away.
  • Think About How You Want to Respond. After you’ve identified the cause of your emotions, you can start to think about how you want to respond. It’s important to take the time to consider your options and choose a response that is in line with your values and goals.
  • Choose a Healthy Response. Once you’ve decided how you want to respond, it’s important to take action. This may involve seeking professional help, talking to a trusted friend or family member, or making lifestyle changes.
  • Monitor Your Progress. It’s important to keep track of how you’re doing and make adjustments as needed. This will help you see your progress and keep you motivated to continue working on managing your emotions.
  • Identify Your Emotions. Once you’ve acknowledged your feelings, try to identify what emotion or emotions you’re experiencing. Are you feeling sad, angry, scared, or something else?
  • Talk About Your Emotions. Once you’ve identified your emotions, it can be helpful to talk about them with someone you trust. This can help you gain a better understanding of what you’re going through and may provide some relief.
  • Express Your Emotions in Healthy Ways. Once you’ve acknowledged and talked about your emotions, it’s important to express them in healthy ways. This may include crying, journaling, or talking to a therapist.

Signs Of Shutting Down Emotionally

When we experience high levels of stress, our bodies can go into “fight-or-flight” mode. This is an evolutionary response meant to protect us from danger. But in today’s world, the things that trigger this response are often not life-threatening.

Instead, they are things like work deadlines, relationship problems, or financial worries.

When we are constantly in this state of stress, our bodies can start to shut down emotionally. This can lead to feeling disconnected from our loved ones, withdrawing from activities we once enjoyed, and overall just feeling numb.

If you’re not sure if you’re shutting down emotionally, here are some signs to look out for:

1. You’re Withdrawn And Prefer To Be Alone

If you’re normally a social butterfly but have suddenly lost interest in seeing friends or participating in activities you once enjoyed, it could be a sign that you’re shutting down emotionally.

When we’re feeling overwhelmed, our instinct is often to retreat and isolate ourselves from others. This can help us feel like we have more control over our environment and help us avoid further stress.

But withdrawing from the people and things we love can also make us feel more alone and lost.

If you find yourself doing this more often, it’s important to reach out for support.

2. You’re Numb Or Detached From Your Emotions

If you’re struggling to feel any emotions, good or bad, it could be another sign that you’re shutting down emotionally.

When we’re under a lot of stress, our bodies can go into survival mode. This can cause us to disconnect from our emotions as a way of protecting ourselves.

However, this can also lead to feeling numb and disconnected from the people and things we care about.

If you’re struggling to feel anything at all, it’s important to reach out for help.

4. You’re Using Coping Mechanisms That Are Unhealthy

In order to cope with the stress of daily life, some people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking, smoking, or using drugs.

While these things may help us feel better in the short term, they can actually make our emotional shutdown worse in the long run.

If you find yourself using unhealthy coping mechanisms, it’s important to reach out for help.

Here is the Video About: Why People Shut Down?

5. You Don’t Feel Anything Anymore

Another sign of emotional shutdown is feeling numb or disconnected from your emotions. This can manifest as not being able to cry, even when you’re sad, or not feeling any joy, even when something good happens.

You may also find yourself numbing your emotions with activities like drinking, smoking, or overeating. This can be a way to cope with the pain of the emotional shutdown, but it’s only a temporary fix.

In the long-term, numbing your emotions can make it harder to cope with them when they eventually do come up.

6. You’re Quick To Anger

When we’re feeling emotionally shut down, we can also be more prone to outbursts of anger. This is because we may feel like we’re not being heard or understood, and that can lead to frustration and resentment.

If you find yourself getting angry more easily than usual, it may be a sign that you’re struggling to cope with your emotions.

7. You’re Exhausted All The Time

If you’re constantly feeling tired, even after a good night’s sleep, it could be a sign of emotional shutdown. When we’re in a state of stress, our bodies use up a lot of energy, which can lead to fatigue.

The emotional shutdown can also cause us to lose interest in taking care of ourselves. This can lead to things like skipping meals, not exercising, and not getting enough sleep.

All of these things can contribute to feeling exhausted all the time.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it is possible to stop the emotional shutdown by learning how to express emotions healthily, identifying the triggers that lead to the shutdown, and using positive coping mechanisms. If you are struggling to stop shutting down emotionally, seek professional help.

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