Having a brother-in-law who is not friendly can be tough. It can put a lot of stress on your relationship with your spouse, and it can also make family gatherings very uncomfortable.
Especially during the holidays when you are all forced to spend time together. It’s important to remember that you can’t change who someone is, but you can change how you react to them.
If you don’t get along with your brother-in-law, it can be a difficult situation for everyone involved. It’s important to try and find a way to get along, for the sake of your spouse and your extended family.
If you find yourself in this situation, don’t worry! There are things that you can do to make things better. In this blog post, we will discuss some tips for dealing with an unfriendly brother-in-law.
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Why Your Brother-in-Law Is Not Friendly?
You’ve been married to your spouse for a while now, and things are going great. You have a wonderful relationship and you’re always there for each other when things get tough.
However, there’s one thing that’s been bothering you for a while and it’s his/her brother. He’s just not friendly towards you, no matter what you do.
1. Simply Shy
It’s possible that your brother-in-law is simply shy and doesn’t know how to act around you. Maybe he’s just not used to having someone new in the family.
If this is the case, try to be understanding and give him some time to warm up to you.
2. Incompatibility
It could be that you two are just incompatible. You may have completely different interests and personalities, which can make it difficult to find things to bond over.
If this is the case, it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault and there’s nothing you can do to change it.
3. Don’t Like You
Another possibility is that he simply doesn’t like you.
It could be for any number of reasons, such as feeling like you’re taking his sister away from him or not approving of your relationship.
If this is the case, there’s not much you can do except try to be understanding and hope that he’ll come around eventually.
4. First Impression
It’s possible that he just had a bad first impression of you.
Maybe you said or did something that rubbed him the wrong way and he’s been holding it against you ever since.
If this is the case, try to apologize for whatever it was and see if things improve from there.
5. Bad Experiences
It’s possible that he’s had some bad experiences with people in the past and he’s just not ready to open up to anyone new.
If this is the case, try to be patient and understanding. It may take some time, but hopefully, he’ll eventually come around.
What To Do If Your Brother-In-Law Doesn’t Treat You As A Family Member?
No one wants to feel like an outsider in their own family. If you have a brother-in-law who doesn’t make you feel like part of the family, it can be hurtful and frustrating.
Here are some tips on what to do if your brother-in-law isn’t friendly toward you.
1. Talk To Your Brother-in-Law
First, try to talk to him about it. It’s possible that he doesn’t realize how his behavior is affecting you.
If you can have an honest conversation with him, he may be more conscious of his words and actions around you.
If talking to him doesn’t work, or if he refuses to talk about the issue, there are other things you can do.
2. Make An Effort To Spend Time With Him
One way to try to improve your relationship with your brother-in-law is to make an effort to spend time with him.
This can be difficult if he’s not someone you would normally choose to spend time with, but it’s worth a shot.
You could invite him out to lunch or coffee, go to a ball game together, or even just sit and chat at family gatherings. If you can find some common ground, it may help to improve your relationship.
3. Ask Him Questions About Him
This will help you to get to know him better and hopefully build a stronger relationship.
If he is tight-lipped, then try asking questions about his hobbies or interests. Also, don’t forget to ask how he is doing in general.
Compliment him when he does something good and be there for him when he needs someone to talk to. Don’t force anything and just let things happen naturally.
Treating your brother-in-law like a family member doesn’t have to be difficult. Just remember to communicate with him, show genuine interest in his life, and be there for him when he needs you.
4. Don’t Take His Behavior Personally
It’s important to remember that not everyone is going to get along all the time. Just because your brother-in-law doesn’t seem to like you, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
Try not to take his behavior personally. It may have nothing to do with you at all.
5. Talk To Your Sister
If your brother-in-law’s behavior is bothering you, talk to your sister about it. She may be able to talk to him and get him to change his behavior.
Or, she may be able to give you some insight into why he acts the way he does. Either way, it’s worth talking to her about it.
Is It Normal For Brother-in-law To Not Get Along?
It’s not uncommon for brothers-in-law to not get along. It’s quite common. There are several reasons why this may be the case.
Maybe they have different interests or personalities. Maybe they’re competitive with each other. Or, maybe they just don’t see eye to eye on things.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to try to maintain a good relationship with your brother-in-law.
After all, he is family. And, even though you may not always see eye to eye, it’s important to respect each other and get along for the sake of your spouse and your family.
If you’re having trouble getting along with your brother-in-law, talk to your spouse about it. See if they can help mediate the situation.
And, try to be understanding and respectful of each other. With a little effort, you should be able to maintain a good relationship with your brother-in-law.
How To Know Your Brother-In-Law Is Toxic?
It’s not always easy to tell when someone is toxic. Sometimes people can be toxic without realizing it. If you’re not sure whether or not your brother-in-law is toxic, here are some signs to look out for:
- Critical to you: A toxic person is often critical to those around them. If your brother-in-law is constantly pointing out your flaws and criticizing your choices, he may be toxic.
- Tries to control you: A toxic person may try to control those around them. If your brother-in-law is always telling you what to do or how to do things, he may be toxic.
- Invalidates your feelings: A toxic person will often invalidate your feelings or experiences. If your brother-in-law regularly dismisses your feelings or tells you that you’re overreacting, he may be toxic.
- Isolates you from others: A toxic person may try to isolate you from your friends or family. If your brother-in-law has been trying to distance you from your loved ones, he may be toxic.
- Makes you feel bad about yourself: A toxic person will often make you feel bad about yourself. If your brother-in-law regularly puts you down or makes you feel like you’re not good enough, he may be toxic.
What Should I Do If My Brother-in-Law Is Not In Favor Of Our Marriage?
If your brother-in-law is not in favor of your marriage, there are a few things you can do to try and change his mind.
First, sit down with him and have a heart-to-heart talk. Explain to him why you love your fiancé and why you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
Try to get him to see your side and understand where you’re coming from.
If that doesn’t work, you could try reaching out to other family members or friends who may be able to talk some sense into him.
Or, you could just accept that he may never come around and move on with your life without his approval.
At the end of the day, it’s your life and you should do what makes you happy.
Conclusion
It is not easy living with a brother-in-law who does not get along with you. If your brother-in-law is not friendly, there are some things you can do to try to improve the situation.
Talk to your sister or husband about the problem and see if they can help mediate the situation. You may also want to try to spend more time with your brother-in-law outside of family gatherings.
If nothing else works, it is important to remember that you are not alone and other people have similar experiences.