I Found Out My Wife Cheated Years Ago: What Should I Do

It’s a question that many people find themselves asking: How should I react now that I’ve found out my wife cheated years ago?

The discovery of an affair can be a devastating experience, and it can be difficult to know how to move forward. If you’re struggling with these questions, don’t worry – you’re not alone.

In this blog post, we’ll discuss the different ways to react after finding out about an affair. We’ll also provide some advice for rebuilding trust in a relationship after cheating has taken place.

How Should I React Now I Found Out My Wife Cheated Years Ago?

I Found Out My Wife Cheated Years Ago

The first thing you need to do is take a step back and breathe. This is a lot of information to process and it’s going to be tough, but you need to try and stay calm.

After you’ve had some time to let this sink in, sit down with your wife and talk about what happened.

Try to get as much information from her as possible.

Why did she cheat? When did it happen? How long has it been going on? After you have all the facts, you can start to figure out how you want to proceed.

Can you forgive your wife and move past this? Or, do you think it’s time to end things? It’s going to be a tough decision either way, but you need to do what’s best for you.

If you decide to stay in the relationship, then you need to work on rebuilding trust. This is going to take time and it won’t be easy, but it’s possible. You need to be patient and understanding, and most importantly, you need to be honest with each other.

If you decide to end things, then do it with respect. Sit down with your wife and explain why you’re leaving. Give her a chance to say her piece, and then end things on good terms.

How Do You Tell If Your Wife Has Ever Cheated In The Past?

The best way to find out if your wife has cheated in the past is to ask her directly. If she refuses to answer or becomes defensive, then there is a good chance that she is hiding something.

You can also try looking through her personal belongings or asking her friends and family if they know anything. However, keep in mind that everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to discussing sensitive topics like infidelity.

If you suspect that your wife has cheated in the past, but you’re not sure how to bring it up, consider talking to a counselor or therapist. They can help you navigate this difficult conversation in a way that is respectful and supportive of both parties.

8 Signs Your Wife Cheated Years Ago: You May Have Ignored Them

You may not want to think that your wife would cheat on you, but it’s a possibility you can’t ignore. If you’re suspicious that she may have been unfaithful in the past, here are some signs to look for:

  • She’s secretive about her phone and computer. If your wife is suddenly keeping her phone close to her at all times and won’t let you near it, she may be hiding something. The same goes for her computer – if she closes the screen or quickly logs out whenever you come near, she may be trying to hide something from you.
  • She’s always working late. If your wife is working later and later, it could be a sign that she’s seeing someone on the side.
  • She’s less interested in intimacy. If your wife used to be interested in to e intimate but now seems to have lost her interest, it could be because she’s getting satisfaction elsewhere.
  • She’s more critical of you. If your wife is suddenly finding fault with everything you do, it could be because she’s comparing you unfavorably to someone else.
  • She’s dressing differently. If your wife is dressing in a way that’s not typical for her, it could be because she wants to attract someone else’s attention.
  • She’s spending more time with her friends. If your wife is spending more time with her friends, it could be because she’s confiding in them about an affair.
  • She’s less interested in family events. If your wife used to be interested in family gatherings but now seems to make excuses not to attend, it could be because she doesn’t want to be around you.
  • She’s paying more attention to her appearance. If your wife is suddenly spending more time on her hair and makeup, it could be because she wants to look good for someone else.

Here is the Video About: My wife cheated on me should I stay or leave?

15 Most Common Mistakes Of The Unfaithful Spouse

If you’ve been unfaithful to your spouse, there are certain mistakes you’ll want to avoid. Here are 15 of the most common

1. Avoid Conflicts at All Costs

The unfaithful spouse often tries to avoid any type of conflict with their partner. This is because they are worried that any disagreement will lead to them admitting their affair.

However, this avoidance can actually make things worse. It can create an environment of mistrust and tension. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to try to work through the conflict. This will help to rebuild trust and improve your relationship.

2. Be Honest About Your Feelings

The most important thing you can do if you’re considering straying is to be honest with yourself about your feelings. If you’re not happy in your relationship, there’s a reason why.

Don’t try to rationalize away your unhappiness by telling yourself that one little affair won’t hurt anyone. It will. You need to figure out what’s wrong in your relationship and try to fix it, or end it if you can’t.

Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for more pain down the road.

3. Lie About What Happen

The common mistake that unfaithful spouses make is lying about what happened.

They think that by keeping the affair a secret, they are doing their partner a favor. But the truth is, their partner has a right to know what happened. Lying only makes the situation worse and creates an atmosphere of distrust.

4. Make Promises You Can’t Keep

When you’re unfaithful, you’re bound to make a lot of promises – to your spouse, to your lover, and to yourself.

But more often than not, these promises are nothing more than empty words. If you’ve been unfaithful and you’re trying to make things right, don’t make any promises that you can’t keep. It’ll only make things worse in the long run.

5. Keep Secrets From Your Partner

One of the most common mistakes an unfaithful spouse makes is keeping secrets from their partner. This can be anything from hiding texts or phone calls, to deleting social media messages and lying about where they’ve been.

If you’re being unfaithful, chances are you’re good at keeping secrets and you think you’re being sly about it. But the truth is, your partner will likely find out eventually – and when they do, the betrayal will be that much worse.

So if you’re considering cheating, ask yourself if it’s worth the risk of losing your partner’s trust forever.

6. Try To Control Your Partner

The most common mistake that the unfaithful spouse makes is trying to control their partner.

This usually manifests itself in one of two ways:

  • Either they try to dictate what their partner can and cannot do, or they try to micromanage their partner’s every move.
  • Either way, this ultimately backfires, as it only serves to create resentment and further distance the unfaithful spouse from their partner.

7. Ignore Your Partner’s Feelings

One of the most common mistakes of unfaithful spouses is to ignore their partner’s feelings.

If you are having an affair, it is important to remember that your spouse is likely to be feeling a range of emotions, including hurt, betrayal, anger, and insecurity. Ignoring your spouse’s feelings will only make the situation worse.

If you are not sure how to deal with your spouse’s emotions, it is best to seek help from a counsellor or therapist.

8. Be Jealous Of Your Partner

Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and lack of trust. If you can’t trust your partner, then why are you with them?

Jealousy will only push your partner away and make them feel suffocated. If you’re feeling jealous, talk to your partner about it and try to work through it together.

9. Make Your Partner Feel Guilty

If you are the unfaithful spouse, one of the worst things you can do is to make your partner feel guilty.

This will only make things worse and could potentially push them away. Instead, try to be understanding and apologetic.

Let them know that you are truly sorry for what you have done and that you will do whatever it takes to make things right.

10. Blame Your Partner For The Affair

I Found Out My Wife Cheated Years Ago

One of the most common mistakes that people make when they’re trying to deal with infidelity is to blame their partner for the affair.

It’s important to remember that your partner is not responsible for your choices and actions, and that you are the only one who can control your own behavior.

If you find yourself blaming your partner for the affair, try to take a step back and focus on your own role in the situation.

11. Try To Buy Your Partner’s Love

One of the most common mistakes that unfaithful spouses make is trying to buy their partner’s love. They think that by showering them with gifts, they will be able to make up for their infidelity.

However, this is not the case. Your partner will not be won over by your material possessions. In fact, they may even see it as a way for you to ease your conscience.

If you want to win your partner back, you will need to show them that you are truly sorry for what you have done.

12. Not Being Honest About What Happened.

The most common mistake that the unfaithful spouse makes is not being honest about what happened. This usually takes the form of either lying about the affair, or trying to downplay its significance.

In either case, the result is the same: your spouse feels betrayed and misled, and it makes it much harder for them to trust you again.

13. Not Showing Remorse.

The next step is to show genuine remorse for your actions. This means more than just saying “I’m sorry” – it means truly understanding the pain and betrayal you’ve caused. Take responsibility for your actions and express sincere regret

14. Not Making Amends.

Once you’ve shown remorse, it’s time to start making amends. This may include anything from telling your spouse everything about the affair to making financial restitution.

The important thing is to take concrete steps to show that you’re committed to rebuilding the trust you’ve destroyed.

15. Failing To Communicate.

One of the most common mistakes unfaithful spouses make is failing to communicate with their partner.

This means more than just talking about what happened – it means being open and honest about your thoughts and feelings, and being willing to listen to your partner’s pain.

How Should I Trust Her After Knowing Her Affair In The Past?

It’s not easy to trust someone after you’ve been betrayed. If your partner has cheated on you in the past, it can be difficult to move forward and trust them again.

However, it is possible to rebuild trust after an affair. It will take time, patience, and effort from both partners, but it is possible to create a healthy and trusting relationship again.

If you’re struggling to trust your partner after they’ve cheated, here are a few tips that may help:

  • Talk about what happened: It’s important to talk about the affair and what led to it. This can be a difficult conversation, but it can help you understand why it happened and how your partner is feeling.
  • Be patient: Trust takes time to build. Don’t expect it to happen overnight.
  • Communicate: Open communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important after an affair. Talk about your feelings and concerns, and listen to your partner’s perspective.
  • Seek counseling: If you’re having trouble rebuilding trust on your own, consider seeking counseling or therapy. A professional can help you work through your emotions and create a plan to move forward.
  • Take things slow: After an affair, it’s normal to want to take things slow. You may not be ready for intimacy right away, and that’s OK. Take the time you need to feel comfortable and secure in your relationship again.


In conclusion, if you think your wife has cheated in the past, it is important to trust your gut and follow your heart.

If she has never given you any reason to doubt her fidelity, then it is likely that she is telling the truth when she says she has never cheated on you.

However, if you have any doubts or suspicions, it is always best to talk to your wife about them directly. Only she can tell you for sure if she has ever been unfaithful.

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