Do you ever feel like you just shut down during an argument? Like all of your energy disappears and you can’t think or speak logically anymore?
If so, you’re not alone. Sensitive people often tend to shut down during arguments because they don’t want to deal with the emotional stress.
Many people do this because they feel overwhelmed and emotional when things get heated. While shutting down may seem like the easiest thing to do, it can hurt your relationship.
In this blog post, we will discuss why people shut down during arguments and how to avoid doing so. We will also explore the effects of shutting down on relationships and offer some tips for having healthier arguments.
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12 Reasons Why Do I Shut Down During Arguments?
We’ve all been there. We’re in the middle of a heated argument with our spouse, partner, friend, or family member. The discussion is getting more and more intense, and suddenly, we find ourselves shutting down.
We clam up and refuse to say anything else, even though we know that doing so will only make the situation worse.
Why do we shut down during arguments? There are a few possible reasons.
Here are eight of them:
1. Overwhelmed By The Emotions We’re Feeling.
We can all understand why someone might want to shut down during an argument. After all, arguments are often emotionally charged and overwhelming.
But why do some people seem to shut down more easily than others?
There are a few possible explanations.
First, some people may have a harder time regulating their emotions. This means that they might get overwhelmed more easily by the emotions they’re feeling.
Second, some people may be more resistant to change. This means that they might find it harder to accept new ideas or perspectives, even if those ideas are presented calmly and rationally.
2. Don’t Want To Say Something We’ll Regret Later.
We’ve all been there before. We’re in the middle of an argument with our significant other, and things start to get heated. The next thing you know, we’re saying things that we don’t mean – things that we’ll only end up regretting later.
But why do we do this? Why do we shut down and stop communicating with the person we love during arguments?
There are a few reasons why this may happen.
First, we may not want to say something that we’ll regret later. This is especially true if we’re angry or upset at the moment. We may also be afraid of hurtful words being said back to us.
And finally, we may simply not know how to express ourselves properly during an argument.
3. Worried that we’ll make the situation worse if we keep talking.
We’ve all been there. We’re in the middle of an argument with our partner, and suddenly, we just shut down. We clam up and refuse to say another word, no matter how hard our partner tries to get us to open up again.
There are a few different reasons why we might do this.
For one thing, we might be worried that we’ll make the situation worse if we keep talking. We don’t want to say something that we’ll later regret, so instead, we just stay silent.
And finally, we might simply not be ready to talk about the issue at hand. We might need some time to process our thoughts and feelings before we’re able to have a productive conversation with our partner.
4. Feel like we’re not being heard or understood.
When we’re in the middle of an argument with our partner, it can feel like we’re not being heard or understood. We may start to feel frustrated, and like our opinions aren’t mattering.
It’s important to remember that both partners are equally important in the relationship and that both of your opinions should be valued.
If you find yourself feeling shut down during arguments, try to take a step back and remember why you’re in the relationship in the first place.
It’s important to have respect for each other, even when you don’t agree. With that respect, you can continue to work together to find a compromise that works for both of you.
5. Need Time To Calm Down And Think About What We Want To Say.
When we’re in the heat of an argument, it’s often because we’re feeling emotional. Maybe we’re feeling hurt, frustrated, or even threatened. And when we’re feeling those things, it can be hard to think clearly about what we want to say.
That’s why it can be helpful to take a little time to calm down and think about what we want to say before we continue the argument. That way, we can be sure that we’re saying what we mean, and not just reacting to our emotions at the moment.
Of course, there are times when taking a break from an argument is not possible. But even then, it can be helpful to take a few deep breaths and try to focus on what we want to say, rather than just what we’re feeling.
After all, the goal of an argument should be to come to a resolution, not just to make ourselves feel better in the moment.
6. Worried About How The Other Person Will React If We Keep Talking.
We’ve all been there before, in the middle of an argument with someone we care about and feeling like we’re just not getting through to them.
It’s frustrating, and can often leave us feeling helpless. We want to communicate effectively, but it seems like every time we try, things just end up worse.
One of the most important things to remember in these situations is that the other person is probably just as worried about how you’ll react as you are about how they will.
They don’t want to upset you, and they’re likely feeling just as frustrated as you are. If you can keep this in mind, it can be much easier to approach the situation with compassion and understanding.
Try to remember that it’s not personal. The other person is likely feeling just as frustrated as you are, and they don’t want to upset you. This can help you approach the situation with compassion and understanding.
7. Don’t See Any Point In Continuing The Argument.
We’ve all been there before. You’re in the middle of an argument with someone, and it’s not going anywhere. Neither of you is backing down, and tempers are starting to flare. Suddenly, you realize that there’s no point in continuing the argument.
But what do you do? How do you end an argument gracefully?
The first step is to realize that you need to end the argument. This can be difficult, especially if you’re used to winning arguments or being right all the time. But sometimes, it’s better to just let it go.
Once you’ve decided to end the argument, there are a few things you can do to make it go more smoothly.
- Try to calm down. This can be difficult, but it’s important. If you’re angry, you’re more likely to say something you’ll regret later.
- Try to see the other person’s point of view. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them, but it does mean that you should try to understand where they’re coming from.
- Be respectful. This is probably the most important thing to remember. If you’re respectful, the other person is more likely to be respectful back.
8. Already Said Everything We Need To Say.
We’ve all been there before. We’re in the middle of an argument with someone, and we feel like we’ve already said everything we need to say. But for some reason, the other person just doesn’t seem to be getting it. So what do you do?
One option is to keep repeating yourself over and over again, hoping that eventually, they’ll understand. But more often than not, this just ends up frustrating both of you even more.
A better option is to simply shut up. Yes, you read that correctly. Sometimes the best thing you can do during an argument is to just stop talking.
9. Your Point Of View Is Not Accepted
When you’re in an argument, and you feel like your point of view is not being accepted, you may start to shut down.
This can happen for a variety of reasons.
Maybe you’re used to being in control, and when you’re not, it feels uncomfortable.
Or maybe you think that if you keep pushing, the other person will eventually give in and see your point of view. But more often than not, this isn’t the case.
Pushing too hard can make the other person dig their heels in and become even more resistant to what you’re saying.
10. Feel Threatened
Sometimes, people shut down during arguments because they feel threatened. This can happen if the other person is yelling or getting Physical.
It can also happen if you’re feeling like you’re not being heard or like your opinion doesn’t matter.
When we feel threatened, our instinct is to protect ourselves, and one way we do that is by withdrawing from the situation.
11. Feel Trapped
Sometimes, people shut down during arguments because they feel trapped. They may not be able to express themselves the way they want to, or they may feel like they’re not being heard.
This can be especially true if the other person is yelling or being aggressive. When we feel like we’re not being heard, it’s natural to want to retreat and protect ourselves.
12. Afraid Of Conflict
For some people, conflict is simply too scary.
They may have had bad experiences in the past where arguments turned violent or ended badly. Or they may have been raised in a household where conflict was never resolved healthily.
Whatever the case may be, if you’re afraid of conflict, you’re more likely to shut down when things start to get heated.
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5 Ways How Do You Avoid Shutting Down In Arguments?
It’s easy to shut down during arguments. But it’s not always the best thing to do. Here are five ways how you can avoid shutting down in arguments:
- Be aware of your body language. If you’re crossing your arms or clenching your fists, it sends a signal that you’re not open to communication. Instead, try to relax your body and keep an open posture.
- Be aware of the tone of your voice. If you’re speaking in a harsh or judgmental tone, it’s likely that the other person will feel defensive and will shut down as well. Instead, try to speak in a more calm and neutral tone.
- Aware of the words you’re using. If you’re using absolutes like “never” or “always,” it’s likely that the other person will feel like they can’t win the argument. Instead, try to use more flexible language.
- Willing to compromise. If you’re not willing to budge on your position, it’s likely that the other person will feel frustrated and will shut down. Instead, try to be open to finding a middle ground.
- Being aware of your own emotions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or angry, you’ll likely say something you’ll regret. Instead, try to take a few deep breaths and calm down before continuing the conversation.
How Does Shutting Down Effects During Arguments Effects Your Relationship?
Shutting down during an argument can have negative effects on your relationship.
It can make your partner feel like you don’t care about their feelings or that you’re not interested in resolving the conflict. This can lead to further arguments and resentment.
If you find yourself shutting down during arguments, try to take a step back and listen to what your partner is saying.
Try to understand their perspective and express your feelings calmly. This can help you resolve arguments more constructively.
It’s important to communicate with your partner during an argument, even if it feels difficult. Avoiding communication or shutting down will only make the situation worse.
If you’re having trouble communicating, try to speak to a therapist or counselor who can help you learn how to better communicate with your partner.
How To Have Healthier Arguments?
It’s not uncommon for arguments to get heated. But what if there was a way to have healthier arguments? Here are four tips:
- When you’re in the midst of an argument, it can be easy to forget that there’s another person involved. Try to see things from their perspective and understand where they’re coming from.
- Arguments are often a result of miscommunication. If you find yourself getting upset, take a step back and make sure that you’re understanding what the other person is saying.
- Try to stay calm and avoid raising your voice. Not only will this help keep the situation from getting out of hand, but it’ll also make it easier to listen to what the other person is saying.
- Arguments are a chance to learn about someone else and to understand their point of view. If you can approach them with an open mind, you might be surprised at what you learn.
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Conclusion
When you’re in a relationship with a sensitive person, it’s important to be aware of their needs and how to avoid triggering a shutdown.
If you can learn to communicate effectively and understand your partner’s triggers, you’ll be on your way to having healthier arguments that don’t end in an emotionally charged stalemate.
