Are you one of those who think about their exes every day? Are you worried and annoyed with yourself for thinking about your ex-lover all the time?
Well, this article is for all those people who ask themselves and others something along the line of “Everyday, I think about my ex. Am I too weak to get over a lost relationship?”
We have all gone through this phase. We may have all even talked about it with our friends at some point in time.
So why is the situation so bad? Why do we think of our exes every other minute? What exactly happens inside our brains when this thought comes up? Let’s take a look at all these things in the comprehensive guide below.
Summary
- Many people experience obsessive thoughts about their exes after a breakup, feeling like losers for not being able to get over the lost relationship.
- The release of oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone,” during a relationship creates a strong connection and happiness, leading to a desire to maintain that connection.
- When a relationship ends, the sudden withdrawal of oxytocin can result in sadness and a longing to reconnect with the ex-partner.
- Strategies to stop thinking about an ex include keeping busy, talking to friends, distracting oneself, writing down thoughts, spending time with new people, and avoiding stalking the ex online.
- Accepting that thinking about the ex is normal, seeking therapy, and focusing on personal growth and new experiences can aid in the healing process.
Table of Contents
Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? You Aren’t The Only One
Breakups are hard. Losing the person you thought you would be with forever can feel like a death. And, for many people, the first few weeks and months after a breakup are filled with obsessive thoughts about their ex.
If you are going through all of these things, it is natural to feel like a loser at one point or another. The realization that you’re obsessing over someone who does not give a damn about you is surely something that brings you down.
But it is important to address this feeling of being a loser.
You need to realize that you are not overreacting or making a big deal out of anything. Rather, it is something that normal humans being.
If things hurt you, they do! Do not let anyone make you feel bad about mourning a lost love. Unless you accept this obsession of your ex as a normal human trait, you cannot get over it.
So, your first task is to accept your feeling of missing your ex all the time as something normal and completely humane. Once, this happens, you are way too close to getting rid of it and coming out of this obsessive sadness faster.
Why Can’t You Stop Thinking About Your Ex – The Science Behind
When we are in a relationship, our brain releases a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin is also known as the “cuddle hormone” because it is released when we hug, touch or sit close to someone we love.
The release of oxytocin creates a feeling of happiness and well-being. It is also responsible for the strong connection we feel with our partner. When this hormone is released, it creates a desire in our brain to maintain that connection.
When a relationship ends, oxytocin is suddenly withdrawn. This can leave us feeling sad, lonely and lost. It is common to want to reach out to our exes during this time. We may want to call them or go visit them, just so that we can feel the release of oxytocin again.
Of course, it is not always possible to get back together with our exes after a breakup. Sometimes it may be the right decision to move on and find someone new… But what happens when you are still in love with your ex?
If you are thinking about your ex constantly, or if you long to be back together again… It may all have to do with the fact that your brain is not done releasing oxytocin. Your mind may be craving that “cuddle hormone” release. That connection.
If you are wondering how to stop thinking about your ex, the first thing you need to do is stop seeing or talking to them. If they are still active in your life, it will be hard for you to move on.
At first, this can cause even more heartache and depression… But if you let yourself feel those emotions, and eventually work through them, you will be able to start moving on.
How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex?
As we have been telling you all along, it’s normal to think about your ex after a breakup, but if you’re not careful, those thoughts can become all-consuming.
Here are some tips for dealing with obsessive thoughts about your ex:
1. Keep Yourself Busy
When you’re not working, sleeping or doing any other productive activity, it’s easy to let your mind wander. The more idle time you have, the more your brain will be flooded with obsessive thoughts about your ex.
Fill your days with activities that will keep your mind occupied. Go for walks, read books, watch movies or take classes. In short, do anything to distract yourself from thinking about your ex.
2. Talk To A Friend
When you’re feeling down, it can be helpful to talk to a friend about your feelings. Venting to someone who will understand and listen can help reduce the amount of time you spend thinking about your ex.
3. Distract Yourself With Tricky Things
Many of us find that our thoughts drift to our exes when we’re doing something they used to do with us. For example, you might think about them if you are eating the same food or watching the same TV show as your ex did with you before.
4. Write Down Your Thoughts
If you’re struggling to keep your thoughts about your ex under control, try writing them down. Writing stream-of-consciousness can give you insight into your own thoughts and feelings. You might also realize that some of the things that are bothering you don’t really matter.
5. Spend Time With New People
If your ex was your best friend, it may be hard to spend time with someone else. You may find yourself comparing your friend with your ex and finding them lacking.
Spending time with new people can help you realize that not everyone is like your ex (even if they seem similar at first). Over time, you’ll be able to make new friends and enjoy spending time with them without thinking about your ex.
6. Don’t Let Your Mind Wander
When you’re trying to get rid of obsessive thoughts, one of the best things you can do is keep your mind focused on the present. It’s easy to think about your ex when you let yourself daydream, so try not to let your mind wander when it’s idle.
7. Accept That You Will Think About Your Ex
Even if you follow all of the tips in this article, you will probably still find yourself thinking about your ex from time to time. The key is to not get upset or frustrated with yourself when this happens. Accept that it’s normal and try to move on as quickly as possible.
8. See a Therapist
If you’re struggling to get over your ex, it may be helpful to see a therapist. They can help you work through your feelings and give you some tools for dealing with obsessive thoughts.
9. Talk to Your Ex For Closure
Now, this is risky and we suggest you only do it if you are sure you don’t want to get back with them.
If you want to try and get closure from your ex, the best way to do it is by talking to them. If you’re both open and clear with each other, it can be a helpful way to move on.
10. Don’t Stalk Them Online
It’s natural to want to know what your ex is up to, but it’s a bad idea to stalk their social media accounts or follow them on Instagram. It will only make you think about them more and feel worse about the breakup.
11. Remember That Your Ex Has A New Life Too
Your ex probably wanted the same things from your relationship as you did, but that doesn’t mean they’re sitting around thinking about you all day. They have a new job, friends and hobbies now—just like you do.
12. Think About Why They Dumped You
You probably don’t want to think about this, but it can sometimes help to try and understand why your ex decided to break up with you. This can help you figure out what went wrong, and prevent it from happening again in the future.
13. Get Rid Of Your Ex’s Stuff
It can be hard to get over someone when they’re still around, and one of the best ways to move on is to get rid of all their stuff. This includes pictures, clothes and anything else that reminds you of them.
14. Start Dating Again
This is a tough one, but it’s a great way to start moving on. Dating again will help you realize that there are other people out there who can make you happy.
15. Talk To Someone You Trust
If you’re finding it hard to talk to your friends and family about your ex, try talking to someone else you trust. This could be a therapist, counselor or even a friend you’ve made online.
16. Avoid Running Into Them
If you’re struggling to get over your ex, it’s a good idea to avoid running into them and follow no contact policy. If you can’t avoid them, try to stay calm and polite. It’s important not to let yourself get overwhelmed or upset in their presence.
17. Create A Mantra
This is a great way to remind yourself that you’re moving on, even when it feels like you’re not. A mantra can be anything from “I am strong” to “I am enough.” Write it down and post it somewhere you’ll see it every day.
Conclusion
Getting over an ex is never easy, but if you make it a priority to focus on the future and your new experiences, you’ll start to feel better about everything. Just remember that there are millions of people out there who have been through the same thing as you.
Following these tips will help you move on and start healing. Remember to be patient and take things one step at a time. You will get through this!
