Breakups are hard and weird. They bring along a lot of sadness and a lot of pain. But more than anything, they bring along some pinching questions on your ex after breakup that have the power to ruin your mental health.
So, what should you do about those questions? Well, simply seek answers to them so you’re clear and your mental health is not ruined by them. Today, we are going to answer all such questions for you, in detail.
So, read on for answers to all your questions on Ex After Breakup.
What Will I Learn?
- 1. What To Do If My Ex Asked For A Hug?
- 2. Why My Ex Can’t Look At Me?
- 3. Why Has My Ex Deleted My Number?
- 4. My Ex Doesn’t Miss Me – Why Is That So?
- 5. Why Has My Ex Followed Me On Instagram?
- 6. Why Has My Ex Friend Zoned Me?
- 7. Why My Ex-Girlfriend Moved On So Fast?
- 8. My Ex Is Withholding My Mail – What To Do?
- 9. Why Do I Think My Ex Never Loved Me?
- 10. What To Do If My Ex Owes Me Money?
- 11. My Ex Pretends I Don’t Exist – How To Deal With It?
- 12. Why Did My Ex Quit Texting Me?
- 13. My Ex Showed Up Unexpectedly – What To Do?
- 14. What To Do If My Ex Triggers Me?
- 15. Why My Ex Vents To Me?
1. What To Do If My Ex Asked For A Hug?
This is a tricky one. Let’s try and simplify it. First, understand that it is completely fine for your ex to ask for a hug from you. In fact, they might be feeling really bad about the breakup and hence might want some physical contact.
Don’t agree to anything more than a friendly hug though because going back to your ex, even for a hug might create an illusion that you two are still together and it might hurt the other person.
Be friendly and give them a warm hug and let them be. Even if they ask for more, politely refuse it. Your ex is not going to do anything wrong with asking for a friendly hug so don’t be reluctant in giving one either. It’s just an innocent request from their end.
But, I Do Not Even Want To Touch Them. What To Do?
Sometimes, your reasons behind breaking up with them can be really harsh. In such cases, it is totally okay if you do not want to hug them or even go close to them. Simply refuse and do not let their sweet talk get to you if you cannot imagine even looking at their face or forgiving them.
Here are some situations where you should simply refuse them any sort of contact or touch:
- They cheated on you and hence, you both have broken up
- You are seeing someone else who might not like this
- They still think you both can get together but you don’t want so
If you understand that you simply cannot imagine hugging them, then do not. It will hurt your mental health more than anything else if you constantly keep thinking about the breakup and how it happened. Don’t be selfish now.
2. Why My Ex Can’t Look At Me?
This is another common question that people generally ask. If your ex looks away or pretends that they have blocked you from everywhere in real life, then it means that they are not ready yet to face the facts and still want to hold onto their past memories with you. It might be hard for them but if they think about it, deep down inside they know that this is not the right thing to do.
This might be a sensitive phase for you as well, but it will only make things worse if you confront them about anything. Just let them be and let time heal everything. They too might miss you but because of their stubbornness, they do not want to come closer anymore and hence keep looking away from you.
They are probably not ready to see the pain in your eyes when they realize that nothing can be done anymore. If they cannot look at you, then it definitely means something and there might be a valid reason for it all!
You need to give them time and let them deal with their heart on their own. Also, you do not need to stare them too if they are ignoring you this way. Just try to avoid crossing them and don’t look at them if you two ever come across you somewhere.
3. Why Has My Ex Deleted My Number?
This is another tricky one. It is always annoying when someone you used to be with deletes your number and never reaches out. It means they don’t want to talk to you ever again. In some cases, people do this for their own mental sanity as well so they can move on from the breakup too.
Hence, it is okay if your ex deleted your number because he/she simply doesn’t wish to talk or interact with you anymore. But, why would they delete a contact that was once really important? Don’t worry about it and stay strong because there might have been a good reason behind deleting the contact too.
They just do not want any connections with you anymore and hence even checked out what numbers of yours saved in their phone! Here are some reasons why your ex deleted your number:
- They Are In A New Relationship
- You have been toxic to them
- They cannot imagine looking at you again
- They are guilty that you might confront them about something
4. My Ex Doesn’t Miss Me – Why Is That So?
If your ex does not miss you, then it is alright. It might be an ego boost to you but knowing them well, this might have been a long-time plan of theirs too. So, if they do not miss you at all and even don’t care about what you are doing now, then take it slow. They will realize their mistake when someone else takes their place in your life.
In some cases, they might not miss you because they are in a new relationship too and do not want to create any connections with the past anymore. This is another reason why they might have deleted your number or even blocked you on social media. They just don’t want anything related to the breakup anymore in their lives.
Here are some things you can do to make sure this does not affect you:
- Move on with your life
- Get busy in your own life and focus on work and friends
- Be happy with what you have now
- Don’t let them get to you as they will even know it and might be comfortable with the fact that you are sad about their current life
5. Why Has My Ex Followed Me On Instagram?
Usually, people unfollow and remove their exes from social media. But sometimes, some exes come back to your social media out of nowhere and it makes sense to question as to why they are doing so.
Here are some reasons why your ex might have followed you on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter:
- They still want to know what you are up to
- They sometimes check out your posts just to feel connected
- You guys shared a really beautiful time together and they want the memories back
- They think that they might come back to you one day with their current decisions not working for them anymore
But, do not let that sweet talk get to you. You know your worth and what is right for you. They might have been very important in your life at some point but, they are not anymore. Follow your heart and never let them get to you by any means possible!
You can either choose to ignore them following you, or simply block them. But if their follow is bothering you even a bit, there is no point in following back or reacting to their replies on your stories and posts.
6. Why Has My Ex Friend Zoned Me?
It is a tough one to deal with. When your ex has friend zoned you, it means that they do not want any lovely interactions or relations with you anymore. They just consider you a friend and want nothing more than a casual interaction.
It could be because they have realized their mistakes and want to simply become good person in your eyes without restarting any relationship. Or, it could be out of guilt that they feel the need to keep in touch with you.
The most important thing in this situation is for you to know how you should deal with them if in any case you do not want a relationship at all. You can either choose to stay friends with them or, you can simply block them out of your life and move on without any negative thoughts or emotions towards them.
Here are some reasons why they might be friend zoning you:
- They feel guilty about the breakup
- They fear that their current partner might find out about you being their ex, so they simply give their connection with you a new name
- It was not meant to be and they realized it too soon but still want you to be in their life
- They are probably moving on with their life but still want you in it
Whatever the reason is, you should know how to handle the situation while you are trying to get over them. If they are constantly initiating the conversations, then it means that they might be interested in getting back with you.
In case they have friend zoned you and you want to move on with your life rather than spend time thinking about them, ignore all the messages they send you.
7. Why My Ex-Girlfriend Moved On So Fast?
You have been trying to get over your ex for a month or so but they seem to be already moving on. If you are feeling especially jealous of their every new relationship, then it is time that you take a look at some reasons as to why your ex moved on so fast without you realizing it.
Let us talk about some reasons as to why they moved on so fast:
- They probably realized their mistakes and what you meant for them, which gave them the courage to move on with their life.
- Their current partner might be better than what you were for them, something that they now realize.
- They feel much more confident and happier about themselves than they ever were with you.
It is surely hard to get over the fact that someone who used to be with you is moving on very fast. But you should not let this feeling get over yourself. Here are some things you can do to deal with the emotions that stem from an ex’s ability to quickly move on:
- Let them be. Allow life to bring you better people who are good for you
- You do not necessarily need to move on with your life right away, it is perfectly fine to take your time and enjoy your singlehood. This break will make you realize what was truly missing from your ex all along
- Go out and hang out with your friends to avoid thinking about it.
8. My Ex Is Withholding My Mail – What To Do?
Your ex might be keeping your important mail or messages back from you. It could be because they feel awkward about the fact that you are trying to get over them and moving on in life. This is illegal in some countries and if your mail is very important, you can file a legal suit against them for keeping it from you.
In case they have been withholding your messages from you, then it is better that you end all contact with them for a while.
However, you can always confront them about it and ask if there is any mail that they are not delivering to you. Even, asking for your mail back might make them uncomfortable with the fact that they have been withholding it from you.
Here are some things you can try doing to keep them from withholding your mails and deliveries in future, once they have been caught doing so:
- Tell them upfront how their behavior makes you feel. After all, they might not be doing it on purpose but simply out of their awkwardness about the situation.
- Make sure that you communicate with them better. This gives them some more time to sort things out between themselves and you.
- If they are withholding your unimportant mails on purpose, then move on without thinking too much about it or getting into an argument.
9. Why Do I Think My Ex Never Loved Me?
You are trying to get over your ex, it can get especially hard if you start feeling like they never loved you the way you loved them. No matter how many pep talk you give yourself, nothing seems to work and things seem bleaker than ever.
It could be because of some genuine reasons as to why your ex never cared about what you felt for them and in turn, broke your heart. Feelings cannot be forced upon someone else. Expecting someone to love you is very normal. But, when they do not reciprocate the same feeling, it becomes extremely difficult to move on even after a long time of being broken up with them.
If you feel that they never loved you or cared for you, then here are some reasons as to why it might be true:
- They could have never loved you because they were not truly in love with themselves. Some people try to find someone else to fill this empty hole. But, eventually give up after realizing that there is no one who can replace their own emotions for themselves.
- They might have loved you, but it was just infatuation and not the real kind of love. Probably, you ex was so obsessed with you that they tried to force their emotions on you. This in turn might have made you feel uncomfortable and trapped in the relationship.
- Your Ex might have felt extremely overwhelmed when meeting your family and friends and hence decided to break up with you.
- They might have loved you, but eventually had to move on because they realized that it would not work out between the two of you. It could be anything from your financial status, living situation or even family background.
10. What To Do If My Ex Owes Me Money?
Your ex might owe you money, you should get it back from them at all costs. Money matters are extremely difficult to handle when there is no trust between you and your ex.
Here is our step-by-step guide.
- Make an appointment with your ex regarding the money that they owe you.
- Make sure you’re ready so you don’t feel awkward during the meeting.
- Interact with them like you would do outside their house or workplace to avoid any form of distractions or temptations.
- Stand your ground and make sure that they understand how much money is owed to you and why it needs to be paid back immediately.
- Do not let them convince you to wait for some time because all it will do is drag the situation on for longer, which means they have more time to avoid you.
- Follow up with them later, if necessary at their workplace during office hours so that you are not accused of stalking them or making a fool out of yourself by being too desperate.
- If there is no progress in the situation, send them a legal notice through registered mail. This official document will make sure that your ex cannot avoid you any longer.
- If they do not pay up even after sending the letter, then file a case against them for failing to follow payment procedures with the help of an experienced lawyer.
- Do not stress over the case because everything will be taken care of as long as you cooperate with the lawyer.
- Do not take your anger or frustration out on them by doing something incredibly stupid such as vandalizing their property. This will only make things worse and give you bad karma for a lifetime.
11. My Ex Pretends I Don’t Exist – How To Deal With It?
It is a very common phenomenon for people to pretend that their exes do not exist after a break up. Some people might have the attitude of – ‘out of sight, out of mind’ – which means that if they can pretend that it never happened, then they will no longer be concerned about you or your feelings.
This is a very immature way of thinking because it just shows that they cannot take responsibility for their actions and do not want to face the consequences.
What Do I Do If My Ex Is Pretending That I Don’t Exist?
Step 1: Ignore Their Actions And Behaviour
This will definitely make them uncomfortable and might force them to stop ignoring you.
Step 2: Show Them That It Is Not Easy For You To Forget About The Relationship As Well
You will have to do something which makes your ex realize how much it hurts you when they pretend that you do not exist.
Step 3: Do Not Let Anybody Tempt You Into Dating Them Again
Your ex might try to date other people or sleep with their exes just so that they can feel better about themselves.
This is the time where you need to pull yourself together and show your strength because only then your ex will understand how much they are losing by ignoring you.
Step 4: Be Patient Because It Will Not Work If You Force Them To Face Reality
You should take some time off from any form of communication until your ex understands that pretending that nothing happened is not going to make things easier for them.
Step 5: Stop All Forms Of Communication And Make Sure That They Absolutely Understand That There Is No Going Back
It is very mature on your part because making a clean break will also help you move forward rather than being stuck in the past and feeling miserable for no reason at all.
Step 6: If They Continue To Act Like Nothing Ever Happened, Then It Is Time For You To Leave
If they still do not care about what happened, then it is time for you to let go and start focusing your attention on something more productive and positive such as building a career or self-improvement.
12. Why Did My Ex Quit Texting Me?
It is normal for exes to be in touch with each other because they used to share a very intense and deep relationship in the past. It is also natural for them to stop all forms of communication, which can leave you wondering if your ex still has feelings for you or not.
When Your Ex Quits Texting You: What Does it Mean?
The reason why your ex might have stopped texting you could be something as harmless as their phone breaking down and them already using another number. There is no point in thinking about what happened because there are chances that they will text you again when they get their hands on a new device.
Another reason is that your ex might be busy with their own life and responsibilities and might need some time away from you as well as from texting. Just because they are not interested in text messaging does not necessarily mean that they have lost interest in you or do not want to speak to you anymore.
13. My Ex Showed Up Unexpectedly – What To Do?
It is never a good thing to have you ex showing up at your place without informing because it will only make you feel panicked and scared. It’s natural to think that they are crazy and overreact in response to seeing them again after such a long time.
What To Do If Your Ex Shows Up:
Step 1: Remain Calm And Keep Your Distance
Your ex might be very tense and agitated when they see you and it will help if you take your time to process their presence instead of shouting or panicking.
Step 2: Act Professional And Reassure Them That You Are Not Going To Harm Them In Any Way
People tend to lose control of themselves when they panic. Same would be the case of your ex when suddenly showing up at your place. They might expect you to do something stupid like slap or punch them. So, reassure them that you won’t.
Step 3: Do Not Ask Them Any Personal Questions And Avoid Discussing The Past
It will help if you keep the conversation light and casual, especially when you do not want your ex’s sudden show up to mark a fresh start to your relation.
14. What To Do If My Ex Triggers Me?
Your ex might still have some power over you and your emotions even after the breakup. You might be in a position where everything they do reminds you of the time you spent together, which can cause some pretty intense feelings of sadness and depression.
What To Do When Your Ex Triggers You:
Step 1: Try Not To React During The Moment
It is easy to say that you should not react but let’s face it; anger and sadness are very natural responses to a trigger. Take some time to calm yourself down before you act out because it will not help if they think that you are still emotionally vulnerable.
Step 2: Remove Yourself From That Situation And Think About What You Want To Say
Do not avoid your ex or pretend that everything is fine. It will only leave them wondering what happened and why you are acting like you do not care about them.
Step 3: Be As Honest As You Can And Take Control Of The Situation
If they make you angry or sad, then tell them how it makes you feel instead of keeping your emotions bottled up inside. They will appreciate the honesty and can do much more than if you continue to act like everything is fine.
15. Why My Ex Vents To Me?
When you are in a relationship with someone, there are times when you might vent to them. You want to talk about your frustrations and issues with another person. The problem is that your ex might be using these moments to put the blame on you. Or, maybe even manipulate you into doing certain things that they want.
Here are some reasons why your ex might be venting out in front of you:
It Is An Attempt To Manipulate You And Use This Against Them
Even if their words sound genuine, it does not mean that what they are saying is true or fair. Your ex might still have some power over your emotions. So, do not let yourself get caught up in whatever they have to say because it will only lead you to trouble
They Want You To Respond Them With Hints
When you are angry or listening to someone who is venting out to you, it is easy to let your emotions get the better of you. You might say things that you would normally not say. Do not give into the temptation. This is because it will only hurt your case later on when they decide to use whatever it is that you told them against you.
They Want To Get Back With You
It does not matter if this happens during an argument or when they tell you what happened with their day; just take a step back and move away from the situation so that they do not have the chance to use what they know about your feelings against you in court.