The mother-daughter relationship is the most intense emotional bond in your life. No matter how much you love anyone close to you; no one will ever understand you like your mother. This article will share with you, how to deal with mother and daughter conflicts.
Mother and daughter relationships are difficult because it is hard to switch the roles that mothers and daughters play. It takes time to adjust to becoming friends with your mother instead of looking up to her like a child would.
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Are Mother And Daughter Conflicts Normal?
Yes, it is normal for mother and daughter relationships to be difficult at times. A woman, as she ages, starts to understand more about her mother’s role. And your mom may also feel some grief over losing the baby girl that she once had.
However, if your relationship with your mother is too problematic, it might be about time you talk to a therapist or counselor. Relationships with mothers and daughters contain both positive and negative emotions; the good is always worth fighting for.
Below are tips that can show you how to deal with mother and daughter conflicts.
How To Deal With Mother And Daughter Conflicts – Tips For Mothers
If your relationship with your daughter is constantly filled with conflict, here are some tips for mothers to deal with conflicts.
1. Listen To Your Daughter
When your daughter speaks, listen carefully. Give her the attention she deserves. Take time to understand how she feels and what exactly is bothering her.
Even if you think she is way off base with the way she perceives things, try not to say so until you have fully listened to everything that bothers her. When you are finished listening, ask her if there is anything that you can do to help.
2. Be Open To Your Daughter Opinions
Your daughter will start developing opinions of the world around her based on what she observes in life. Try to avoid shutting down discussions about pop culture because it might be important to her. The more involved you are with your daughter’s interests, the closer she will feel to you.
3. Give Your Daughter Privacy But Be Available For Advice
A good mother gives her child the space to make mistakes while allowing herself to be available for advice whenever needed.
You want your daughter to see all that life has to offer, then give her the freedom to explore. But, at the same time, you need to remain available in case she runs into problems and needs your guidance.
4. Don’t Overuse Phrases Such As “That’s Life” In Front Of Your Daughter
Nobody wants their mother to constantly dismiss their feelings; it is deeply hurtful and depressing for them to feel like they can never be happy because of other people’s opinions and life situations.
You should always try to help your daughter find a way to solve her problems when possible without dismissing her feelings altogether.
5. Avoid Too Much Nagging And Yelling At Your Daughter
Your daughter does not enjoy being yelled at for no reason especially when she has done nothing wrong. The best way to handle this is to set rules with her about how things should go in different situations.
If you explain why you want certain things done a certain way, it makes your requests more reasonable because they make sense rather than sounding like mindless orders shouted from afar.
6. Be Gentle When You Correct Your Daughter’s Behavior
If you want your daughter to listen when correcting her behavior, it is important to keep this process gentle instead of going about it harshly.
Yelling makes people feel even more distant from one another because all they perceive is anger and frustration emanating from those who are supposed to love them unconditionally.
7. Learn How To Apologize When You Are Wrong To Your Daughter
Even if you make a conscious effort to avoid being wrong, there will always be times when it is impossible not to admit that you have made a mistake.
In these types of situations, your daughter needs to see that you are willing to say sorry. People who refuse to apologize only create distance between themselves and others.
8. Share Your Feelings To Be Emotionally Intimate With Your Daughter
Even though it might seem scary at first, sharing your feelings openly and honestly with your daughter helps her understand what she means to you and allows the two of you to be emotionally intimate with one another.
9. No Matter What, Your Daughter’s Well-Being Is Top Priority
A mother who always puts her daughter first is more likely to get respect in return because it shows that she cares about her child more than anything else in this world.
This type of unconditional love enables daughters to remain confident and feel better about themselves no matter what life throws their way because they know that someone will always have their back.
How To Deal With Mother And Daughter Conflicts – Tips For Daughter
You should never begin fighting with your mother without taking some time to think about the problem at hand before you start throwing insults or accusations.
It is important to identify what you are arguing about before trying to solve anything, and that may require some careful self-reflection.
Below you would find tips for daughters to handle conflicts:
1. Communicate About The Conflict With Your Mother
The best way to deal with conflict is to talk about it and reach a resolution as quickly as possible so that you can avoid letting these types of disagreements escalate beyond repair.
It may not always be easy but the effort you put in now will help establish a healthy relationship between you and your mother throughout the rest of your lives together.
2. Find The Appropriate Time And Place To Discuss These Problems
It can be tempting to avoid these types of conflicts altogether, but this creates a greater divide in the long run. As your mother is hurt by the argument it needs to be resolved. When the time feels right, sit down with your mother and have a calm discussion about what happened.
So that, both of you can express yourselves without being interrupted or forced to change the topic when things get uncomfortable.
3. Realize That Your Mother Also Deserves Respect
It does not matter if you don’t agree – do not attack or belittle your mother for how they feel, no matter what the topic of discussion is; nobody likes having their feelings and beliefs invalidated and it will only make things worse.
Instead offer her respect and an open mind as she explains why she feels the way she does, to find a middle ground that both parties can at least be satisfied with. It is important to understand each other’s points of view and move in unison.
4. Appreciate Your Mother’s Efforts
First of all, nobody likes to try hard at something when they would much rather be doing something else, so cut her some slack for being uncomfortable during certain activities and times of the day no matter how irrational it is.
You’d be surprised by how even a small gesture can make a big difference. Next time your mother cooks you dinner, thank her for everything she does to help take care of you, no matter how much effort it may have taken her to cook the meal or clean the dishes afterward
5. Think Before You React In Front Of Your Mother
You might want to lash out at everything that comes out of her mouth during these arguments because it feels good to let everything into the open finally after holding it in for so long.
However, this is the worst thing you can do because your mother will feel disrespected and will not listen to a word you have to say if she thinks that you are being irrational.
6. Recognize That Your Mother May Have Valid Points
A lot of times, mothers just want their daughters to know where they are coming from even though it does not change anything in the present.
It is perfectly okay for you to ignore her advice about certain situations but at least take note of what she said so that next time around, you might think more carefully about how your actions affect others around you before jumping to conclusions too quickly.
7. Don’t Assume You Know What Your Mother Is Thinking
It is difficult not to assume that a certain tone of voice your mother used means anger, disappointment, or frustration with you. But it could be something she was worried about or stressed out about at work. If you don’t ask her then you’ll never know.
If something is bothering you that leads to an argument with your mother, talk about it as soon as possible so as not to worsen the situation and avoid miscommunications at all costs between each other.
8. Show Your Mother That You Are Listening
Rather than trying to get her to look at things from your point of view, let her tell you all about what is going on in her life and how that affects the way she interacts with you.
Once she vents out everything that has been bothering her for years, thank her for sharing and then try to work out a solution because this whole thing might just be a simple misunderstanding or miscommunication than anything else.
9. You Need To Be A Bigger Person When Your Mother Gets Emotional
Mothers are considered very emotional beings. Understand that sometimes, mothers can become very emotional during disagreements and may say things they don’t mean out of anger.
So pay attention to her words and tone during these moments, but understand that the best thing you can do is remain calm even if she doesn’t. It’s better to put an end to conversations that lead nowhere or are upsetting her.
How To Deal With Mother And Daughter Conflicts – Conclusion
Mother-daughter conflicts are pretty common, but we should try to control these conflicts in such a way that leads to reconciliation without resentment. Mothers need to realize that their daughters are growing up and daughters need to realize that their mothers will always see them as their little girls.
So remember, don’t let this problem get you down. It’s a complex issue to be sure, but if you can handle it with patience and reasonability, both on your end and hers as well then things may start to smooth out between you two!