Believe it or not, there are many moms out there who tend to hate their own daughters. While it may be surprising, the reasons behind this are quite understandable. If you have ever wondered why mothers hate their daughters, we cannot really give you definite answer to this.
However, let’s take a look at 13 possible reasons behind mothers hating their daughters.
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1. The Mother May Feel Dissatisfied With Her Life
As a mother, ones child will always be on top of their priority list. Their happiness, dreams are all put aside to take care of the child. However, being a mom is not as easy as it sounds because it takes so much effort and patience.
Moms who have daughters may sometimes feel dissatisfied with their lives because they had spent too much effort and energy on taking care of their daughters.
As a result, other people in life such as friends or husbands may have been neglected to take a backseat during the early years of the mother’s parenting period. Dealing with such jealous mothers is often very tricky and needs a lot of control on ones nerves.
2. Mother May Feel Disappointed With Her Daughter
While parents normally love all their children unconditionally, this rule is not applicable if the child starts to rebel against the parents. Mothers who have high expectations of their children may feel tremendous sadness and disappointment when they realized that their daughter is not following what they had dreamed for her.
3. Biological Differences
Of course we cannot deny the fact that there are many biological differences between moms and daughters which could lead to some disagreements.
If the mother feels that her daughter is more beautiful than her, she may become very competitive about looks. This leads to many arguments between them which could cause some major problems in their relationship.
4. Daughter Refuses To Listen To Her Mother
As a parent, there are times where you have to make sure your children know their limit. Daughters who have little respect for their mothers tend to argue a lot with them and refuse to take advice from them. This behavior could lead to the mother becoming very annoyed by her daughter’s actions, resulting in arguments between them.
5. Jealousy Due To Step-Relations
If a husband is having more than one wife, it is quite understandable that there will be some disagreements between the sisters especially when they have different biological mothers. Mother of daughters may sometimes get jealous of the bond the children share with the other mother which causes arguments about silly things such as clothes or accessories.
6. Difference In Opinion Towards Things
Having different opinions towards certain matters may also lead to arguments between women especially if both are stubborn on their standpoints on the particular issue.
7. Mother Cannot Communicate With Her Daughter
Some mothers who may not be able to communicate properly with their daughters would find it very difficult to maintain a good relationship with their children. This could cause one of them to become angry and start fights over the smallest matter which leads to mother hating her daughter.
8. The Mother Feels Threatened By Her Daughter
Some mothers may not feel comfortable with their daughters because they think that they could lose their husband or boyfriends to them. This fear and insecurity may cause the mother to become very dominant towards her daughter and want control over everything she does which leads to clashes between them during disagreements.
9. Mother Wants Her Daughter To Be More Like Her
Some mothers may want their daughter to be more like them and follow in their footsteps. Unfortunately, sometimes daughters tend to rebel against what the mother wants them to do which causes arguments between them.
10. Mother Is Jealous Of Her Own Daughter
There are some mothers who may become very jealous of their own daughters due to comparing themselves with each other. They may even feel that their daughter is more successful or pretty which leads to arguments between them.
11. Mother Feels Like The Birth Of Her Daughter Distanced Her From Others
It is very common for mothers to feel that the birth of her daughter may have pushed them away from family and friends because they were so caught up in raising their children. Depending on how close she used to be with her relatives, this could result in misunderstandings between her and her daughter due to neglecting each other over the years.
12. Difference In Opinions Regarding Career And Marriage
Some mothers and daughters may have different opinions when it comes to a career and marriage. The mother may want her daughter to get married early while the daughter wants to focus on building her career first. Arguments between them could occur if they argue over this matter especially during an age where independence is valued more than anything else.
13. Mother Wants To Control Her Daughter’s Life
Some mothers who were raised in a very strict household may find it very difficult to let go of their children and control them. This may cause arguments between the two if they disagree on something, due to the mother trying to impose her will on the matters of her daughter.
Patriarchy – A Special Case Behind Mothers Hating Their Daughters
Patriarchy can be defined as a system where men have authority over women. In households where patriarchy rules, husbands often start hating their wives for giving birth to daughters. Though this is a common practice only under-developed regions of the world, it is a leading cause behind mothers becoming enemies to their own daughters.
After giving birth to a daughter, the mother starts feeling ashamed in front of the community and relatives who have been expecting a son from her. This causes her to develop anger towards the daughter, which often creates misunderstandings between them.
Signs A Mother Hates Her Daughter
The hatred of a mother towards her daughter is not usually obvious and apparent rather sometimes shows itself in emotional and mental abuse. Below are the signs one must look out for if they suspect their own mothers might be hating them.
1. The Mother Yells At Her Daughter Very Often
One of the easiest ways to know whether your mother hates you or not is by noticing whether she yells at you often or not. If it happens to be that she does, then chances are she is not fond of you and wants to keep her distance from you.
2. Mother Gives The Daughter Less Attention And Affection Than A Son
If the mother is very keen in showing her affection and attention to her son but not towards her daughter, then it might be that she is trying to distance herself from the latter for some reason or another. This could lead to arguments and disagreements between them, especially if the mother thinks that such behavior will only push the daughter away from her.
3. The Mother Shows Disinterest In Her Daughter’s Affairs And Social Life
A sign which may really hint at a mother hating her daughter might be if she shows little interest in what she does or who she hangs out with during her free time. This lack of concern and care could result in arguments and confrontations between them, which creates a very unpleasant relationship for both parties.
4. Mother Routinely Demeans And Calls Her Daughter Names
A mother who hates her daughter will often resort to calling her derogatory names and insults her in to belittle her and make sure she feels humiliated in front of others, making her a lesser person compared to the son.
However, this is not always very apparent due to the fact that mothers may justify it by saying she was “just joking”. If one suspects their mom might be doing this, then chances are they hate you whether you like it or not.
5. The Mother Gives More To The Son Than The Daughter In Expectation Of A Return Later On
One of the most common signs that a mother hates her daughter (and vice-versa) could be if she shows off more affection to the son than the daughter. This could happen due to the mother thinking that daughters are less important and will not be able to help them when they grow older, unlike their sons who might be able to give back in some ways later on.
These are just five of the most common signs mothers show which can hint at their hatred for their daughters. Although these signs may not always guarantee that your mom truly hates you, it is best to keep an open mind about it just in case. It would really suck if one ends up falling out with their own moms because of lack of communication between both sides.
Sometimes, Daughters May Also Show Signs They Hate Their Mothers
There are also situations where daughters themselves begin hating their mothers for various reasons. Some or the common signs that reveal a daughter’s resent towards her mother include:
- Daughter refuses to accept any help or money from her mother
- The daughter frequently disappears and is unavailable for days on end
- She calls her mother names and talks badly about her behind her back
- The daughter never helps or offers to help with housework
- She shows no care or interest in the health and well-being of her mother also
- The daughter refuses to visit and/or talk to her mother on the phone for weeks without reason
Mothers and daughters alike can provide hints as to whether they truly hate each other or not. Sometimes it is best to keep an open mind just in case.
Hatred towards kids is hardly ever a mother’s instinct. If you are here because you feel like your mom hates you, you need to be a little rational and ask yourself why you think your mom hates you. Sometimes, hate towards kids is more of an acquired behavior rather than a genetic trait and conditioning in specific ways can really help a mother drenched in resent too.